HORMOANS HORMOANS HORMOANS

Did Manson form a hardcore punk band with the Blood Brothers singers, taking influence from the Refused?
Did the Kandarian Demon enlist the ghost of Kurt Cobain to write a dark, grungy soundtrack for the Deadites crew to surf to?

LIVER ALONE!

And by that I mean listen to Liver -the band not the organ duhh- alone in your room. Or, like, I don't care, go listen to it when you're out with friends or at work or while you're perched upon the porcelain thrown as your ass cries tears of Jameson and Sriracha.

In Love With A Punk Zine.. or Three.

So my new fav writer - Shelby Monita - sent me a few zines to review and while i was at a cottage this weekend i finally got a chance to sit down and read them, and boy oh boy oh boy am i ever hooked.
every one of them (excuse my laziness for typing right now, deal with the consta-lowercase, k thanks) i found i could really relate to taste & attitude - wise. to be completely stalkerish, i mean honest, i almost feel like this chick is my new best friend... does that sound too desperate? i just think she's cool n stuffs.
n e poo, here's a bit about each zine and why i liked 'em:

And We Danced - Back To The Middle

I'm not going to lie, this new And We Danced album, Back To The Middle, starts off sounding pretty fucking sappy. I wasn't sure if I was going to dig it at all as the intro played through, bleeding into the first real pop rock track with these nasally vocals that I would have creamed my 14 year old pants over but tend to feel a little too old to appreciate these days.

PEARS - fuck the fruit, I'm talking about the band.

PEARS.
Holy shit,
PEARS, as in, a band, the band, called PEARS.
I can't even..
I just can't.
Just, holy shit.
I never ever liked pears, but I am making up for that now by fucking loving PEARS.

NEW NEEDLES//PINS!

Shamebirds is the butt-spankin' new album from West Coast power-pop (more accurately described as power-trash on their FB) favourites NEEDLES//PINS.

The Wytches wyll put a spyll on you!

You better stop the things you're doing and listen to The Wytches.
I ain't lyin', no I ain't lyin'.
Their new album, Annabel Dream Reader (which you can stream here for a limited time), totally has me wrapped around their creepy long-nailed green finger.

The Dirty Nil - Cinnamon / Guided By Vices

Disclaimer: In an attempt to break free of this creative slump I've been in all summer I decided to play a game with this next review, one I like to call "Madlibs, Cut, It, Out!" (said as Joey from Full House). I took this random kids book I still own (as in bought semi-recently because it was uh dolla) called Babe Ruth - Home Run Hero, cut up a bunch of stuff, rearranged it and then played madlibs with the in betweenerz in a (half-hearted) attempt to review the new Dirty Nil EP (because thankfuckfully it's only 2 songs and I don't have all night). It turned out about as dumb as you'd expect coming from me, soo enjoyyy!!

PENNYWISE / BAD RELIGION / THE OFFSPRING @ Echo Beach - Aug 7th

Once upon a time (August 7th, 2014 to be exact) in Toronto, a bunch of 90s punk rock kid's wet dream of a show happened at Echo Beach.
The Offspring showed up to play their entire album, Smash, from front to back with support from some of the biggest names to stem from the genre.. Bad Religion, Pennywise, and The Vandals.

Introducing Edmonton, the band from Florida... ?

Edmonton (the band, not the location) are keeping relatable (and relate-worthy) pop punk alive.
They are the perfect mix of emo-tinged vocals over poppy but not too poppy, catchy but not cheesy, punk rock, each song busting out a beat that just won't... queat? quit.*