Hostage Life's LAST SHOW EVER!

Hostage Life!
Hostage Life!
Hostage LIFE!

(you know, like Rufio, Rufio, RufiO!)

Holy Fuck!
Holy Fuck!
Holy FUCK!

Since it seemed like all of Toronto was packed into teeny tiny Sneaky Dee’s I’m going to assume you were at the show last Friday, unless you’re under 19 in which case go bitch slap your parents for not getting it on sooner because they pretty much just ruined your life. That is, if you’re a fan of the now-defunct Hostage Life. Not only was this their last show (hopefully not forever) but it also doubled as their CD release party for Centre Of The Universe? (Fun fact: The album is being given away for FREE on their website)
And it killed.
Kicking off the night, to my huge surprise, was The Little Millionaires. I knew they were playing, my confusion came when they hit the stage first even before I knew who the fuck the City Sweethearts were. But nonetheless I was ecstatic about the fact that I had started drinking early enough that night and I managed to stumble through the doors before the show even started (score me another point there boss) … how exactly remains a mystery.. and honestly I probably would have cried had I missed those guys. I don’t know if any of you bitches remember a show at Sneaky Dee’s on May 26th uhhh 2 years ago with The Little Millionaires, well that was my mother fucking birthday party and probably the last time I saw them. I believe Hostage Life played another show at Sneaks for us before/after that one, and so this show was a pretty big deal to me. Their set was high energy from start to finish, and made it hard to tell at first whether the already large crowd was there for HL or LM. I was already pretty tipsy at this point and have only vague memories of their set, but I remember enjoying it. They didn’t blow the ship out of the water, but they most definitely didn’t come close to sinking it either. I don’t want to say “standard performance” because I believe it was a lot better than that, but at the same time there weren’t many “wow” moments to comment on, aside from the drummer wailing away on those drums at the speed of light the entire set. They were a huge crowd pleaser and looked like they were having fun on stage, a lot of my (blurry) pictures captured each member grinning at one point or another, and fucked if I didn’t have a great time watching!

Seriously though, who put The City Sweethearts in the middle of the line up? Can I punch you in your wide set vagina? Let’s just say I was not impressed. They weren’t horrible but I really would have preferred to see the other two bands back to back and these guys open. -- Side Note: At one point the guitarist said to the crowd “thanks for sticking around for us”… they were the middle band and of course the crowd would stick around for the last Hostage Life show ever… ummm duh! Hilarious! -- They totally ruined the mood for me. The 70’s throwback music itself was pretty good, but getting past the singer was hard. If not only because he looked IDENTICAL to a female friend of mine, who I don’t want to name and embarrass (even though I tried for about 20 minutes to make the perfect split screen of the two of them until realizing that she’d probably cut my throat if she saw it) and it was uncanny enough that I was entirely distracted by it the entire set. His Joey Ramone smashed with Joan Jett appearance on top of looking identical to my female friend made him stand out a little too much with the ill fashioned band, and we couldn’t help wondering if we’d like the band better with somebody else fronting. Hmmm that’s pretty harsh, throwing them in the middle of two of the best Toronto bands was the worst idea ever and it was hard to enjoy what I otherwise might have gotten into at a different time or, better yet, a different show. I was ultimately bored and unimpressed, and not all of that is to blame on the band or the slot, because the sound quality of the set was horrible. I can’t even comment on the vocals because I could barely hear them. Dude (looks like a lady) could have been the greatest singer and I wouldn’t have been able to tell. I was able to make out a Sonics cover of that “Money” song which I actually did enjoy, and I thought they pulled out another cover for the very last song but it turns out it just sounded eerily like that “Rollin’ on the river” song. They had a good time on stage though, I’ll give them that, and ONE GUY who I will circle in the picture below (Hi, nice to meet you) was having the time of his life, rocking out, singing every word, right on brother!

The rest of the crowd, however, didn’t seem to notice there was a band playing…

Because they were all gearing up for HOSTAGE LIFE! By gearing up I mean smoking/peeing/chugging/whatever they could to do ensure that they would see their last set ever in ENTIRETY without anything getting in the way. There was no way we were cementing our spot near the stage for pictures so instead I sat on a table near the back to and watched the HUGE crowd gravitate to the stage, leaving the entire back half of Sneaky Dee’s practically empty. Consider my question of who the crowd came for answered. The energy was through the ruff, the timing impeccable for a live show, and the shredding guitar was fucking insane, too bad it was all muffled by the shitty sound in the venue and the restricting stage. Mother Fuckers! I love Sneaks but they deserved a bigger stage for this show. That said, the venue did add that perfect nostalgic feel to the night and so I can’t harp on the sound this time.
Hostage Life fucking rocked. Regardless.
You know the saying “don’t speak ill of the dead” or whatever, well thank fuck the dead didn’t give me any reason to because I don’t give a fuck about sayings.
(Unless you’re talking shit about Michael Jackson, in which case I will stab you in the throat nanageddon style, ahhhhhhhhhhhh.)
Hostage Life went out with a bang, and even though I didn’t recognize a lot of the new songs they did play older favourites including their single “Sons of Hostage Life..” for the last time and I couldn’t have been happier. There was even talk of crowning babies, as I believe one of the members wives was giving birth, possibly even during the show? Either way, their new album is unfortunately even better live, but I’d rather not talk about that too much. Sniff.
R.I.P. Hostage Life.

Special shout out to whoever this guy/girl is who started the “World’s First Fansite Dedicated to Toronto Punk Band Hostage Life” at. Good on you kid!

I’m Sarah. I do what I want.