Whilst at work today I came across this band called WOW, who by the appearance of their brightly clad Myspace just screamed HOMOYOUDIDN'T!!! I instantly knew I would hate them, as none of the pictures had a guitar in site, just jumping boys decked out in every colour of the gay rainbow. Each member looks like a huge (I would say 'fag' here if it weren't so incredibly insulting, especially when in reference to this pile of crap) cocksucker. Their photos alone made me nauseous as I hit play and was bombarded with flashbacks of the Fatstreet Boys and N*Stynk (I actually still throw on the Backstreet Boys from time to time I just enjoy making stupid nick names, I think I've already exhausted my creativity though, suffer no more you shall). The world, meet Disney's next Diva's! The only thing setting them apart from the 90's boy band era (which I thought died for a reason) is... what the fuck... auto-tune?
They are playing at the Mod Club tonight and I am considering going there to take them out, and I don't mean on a date. *insert drum used to top off corny obvious jokes to make them funnier here*
The first song on their myspace is called "Do U Miss Me", which makes me want to tie them down to a desk and show them how to write full words already so it's not looking good. The music is like nails on a chalkboard, and the complete lack of originality is painfully apparent, and like, auto-tune, really?
The second song, "Goosebumps", actually made me gag. It sounds almost identical to "Bye Bye Bye" by (hehe) N*Cunt (nicccce!) and while I may have liked good 'ol BSB (I'm a girl dammit) my loyalty was with them and it was die die die to JT and his crew.
"Unforgiven" is next, putting a new meaning to whiney vocals and the taste of puke takes over my mouth before the beat even comes in over the piano. Warning: Do not drink within 24 hours of listening to this band. Even piano can't save them, which, let's be real here, usually is like flashing titties to please the cameras with me... whatever that means. I keep thinking I'm hearing the sound of a big bus coming to a stop, the breaks just'a screeching.
The last song "Walkin' On Air" just brings a new level of shit to their set, and a whole lot of barf to my mouth.
Honestly, is this a joke? Is it April already? I think Disney's calendars are off or something.
I am just torn up about how little they deserve the amount of success they are about to experience... like, it's Disney and they are giving you exactly what you want... if you were a pretwat.
Laugh it up.
Make sure to read the WHOS WOW blog too.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.