Ohhhhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest....

You came and you went as of Sunday.
And I drank you away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest,
The sun was hot but the rain was just, like, completely gay,
But I smoked it away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E Fest...

First band I saw was Tonight Tonight,
Their set made me want to start a fight (a fight),
Watching the singer was truly frightening,
I don't fucking care even if they were super tight,
And nothing is rhyming,
Ohhhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest

You came and you went as of Sunday.
And I drank you away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest,
The sun was hot but the rain was just, like, completely gay,
But I smoked it away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E Fest...

Next came a band called the Poostones,
And they were shit.
The backs of their pants were totally blown,
And it made all the chicks grunt and moan.
To be honest... it kind of pwned.
Ohh S.C.E.N.E. Fest...

You came and you went as of Sunday.
And I drank you away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest,
The sun was hot but the rain was just, like, completely gay,
But I smoked it away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E Fest...

The rest of the day's kind of hazy,
We watched Isle of Thieves who drove me kind of crazy,
And by crazy I mean they were driving drunk through the city...
Shame on you... At least your set wasn't a pity
But I thought it was the Johnstones who were being all shitty, oh S.C.E.N.E. Fest

You came and you went as of Sunday.
And I drank you away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest,
The sun was hot but the rain was just, like, completely gay,
But I smoked it away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E Fest...

After this all I remember is chillin' near the car,
Listening to Lights tear our ears apart so the New Cities could repair the scars,
I think after this we made our way through the rain to the VIP bar,
And I realized one of the best things about S.C.E.N.E. was how close the bands are (were)
All there to play and party, and to fuck hot chicks, har har, oh S.C.E.N.E. Fest...

As my night came to an end I saw a few more bands,
Bastard Child Death Cult made the day, I need to have their cd in my fucking hands.
Then came Walk Off The Earth, with my boys in the poo pants,
Who rocked the shit out of the place leaving the stage to the fans desperate chants,
And last but not least Rebel Emergency made me weak, completely different than the last time I saw them, holy shit.
Oh S.C.E.N.E. Fest...

You came and you went as of Sunday.
And I drank you away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E. Fest,
The sun was hot but the rain was just, like, completely gay,
But I smoked it away, ohhh S.C.E.N.E Fest...

I'm Sarah, I do what Mandy wants.

Grand Scale/Del Asher/Organ Thieves @ Bovine Sex Club

Citizens of Toronto, particularly those over 19 and under 40, more importantly those with big gaping vaginas, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't think you quite know what you've been missing every time Grand Scale plays and you aren't there.
Tonight, for example, they played a HYPE show at the Bovine for all you assholes who stayed home with your finger up your ass running your dildo batteries dry. or wet. whichever.
It was pretty killer.
There was cussin', strippin', bustin' (a move and/or nut) and there was EVEN a small cameo from both Bon Jovi and Robbie Williams.
Don't you just wish you had put your pants back on and come out to see it?
You should.
Check them at S.C.E.N.E. Fest on Sunday if you're lucky.

A band relatively known to the Bovine, Del Asher, played next and for all the facebook messages I've received about them playing here in Toronto from a fellow Cobourgnite in the band this was actually my first time seeing them.
And I dug it.
**Excuse the lack of details, I am not feeling too hot at the moment...more on this below**
You can check them out at S.C.E.N.E. Fest this Sunday too.

Organ Thieves ended the night but due to a fixed A/C at my office (had it stayed broken I would have had the day off tomorrow) and what I'm assuming was really rotten wine that I found in my fridge (I was fighting back the urge to throw up half the night and due to the turmoil in my stomach definitely wouldn't have been able to stay any longer than I did) I had to leave before they hit the stage.
Which was a shame, because the CMW show that I'm apparently semi-famous for bashing them (slightly) in actually changed my view on the band drastically afterwards and I was looking forward to seeing them again.
Luckily they too are playing S.C.E.N.E. Fest this weekend so I'll have a second chance to redeem myself by giving them a proper, unbias review so friends/fans of the band no longer want to ax me.
And I don't mean ax me a question.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Future Kings of Music!


Thank you life for stearing me in the general direction of a band called The Future Kings of Nowhere. I am much obliged. I feel as if I should plant a tree or something in return, no?
Another thank you goes to the band themselves, or whoever composed the perfect myspace bio making this the easiest review to write ever as I copy/paste it out of pure lazyness:
"Brimming with wit and energy, The Future Kings of Nowhere play acoustic pop-punk antifolk with an occasional bit of country twang. They call it acousticore. High speed acoustic guitars, double-time drumming, lush harmonies, and a slew of auxiliary instruments create a frantic backdrop for these songs of love, death, and modern-day alienation. They sing with a disarming honesty that draws you in and a beat that keeps you moving. The hooks sink deep and the energy is unforgettable. One listen to their debut CD, released in June on 307 Knox Records, and you will be humming these tunes for weeks.
This is cut off all your hair, bounce around the room music. Don’t be surprised if you wake up drunk after their next show, with a new tattoo and a trespassing charge, to find a Future King correcting grammatical errors in the graffiti on the jailhouse walls!" www.myspace.com/thefuturekings
Really, what more can I say?
Other than when I listen to this album it makes me want to slap a bandana across my face, hop on a horse and ride back to the 1850's to rob a bank.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Banquets, GODDAMN it's good!


Check out BANQUETS, they're basically the next Gaslight Anthem, and I'm really fucking stoked on them. They're from Jersey City, and they are just one of those bands that can make you forget all your worries, forget all your cares, even if you're not going downtown any time soon.
You can find them and their FREE 7" on their myspace at www.myspace.com/banquetsamerica

You're welcome.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

MuchMusic Video Awards 2010

Yeah, that's right, I watched it.
So what.
Here's my thought process throughout the show...

Miley Cyrus = Out of breath hooker karaoke version of Party in the USA, what the hell was with her crunking dance moves? Why are you opening with this song, YOU’RE IN CANADA! Poor choice of openers for a Canadian television networks big night.

Down With Webster = wow, when did they get this huge? Very extravagant performance, but they owned the stage with mass amounts of energy even with the singer stationary in the middle on his guitar…others struggled to keep up the fast paced lyrics, but pulled it off and still a joy to watch just like back in the day when nobody cared

I can understand Emily Osment, but why the hell is Kristen Cavallari there? These kids shouldn't be watching the Hills, and aren't MTV and MuchMusic different networks? Also, this is an award for the CANADIAN video, couldn't you get CANADIANS to announce it?

And really, is anybody surprised that Justin Bieber won?

VJ Tim CLEARLY goes to the tanning bed, ew ew ew, is he trying to be Adam Lambert? Or part of the Jersey Shore cast? Either way he's like the ugliest human being alive.

Adam Lambert = I am SERIOUSLY sick of this song. He’s just a puppet for megastars like Pink and Lady Gaga to perform their more male focused songs without them looking even more like trannies by performing themselves. Where’s all the guitar licking and cock sucking? This dull performance could have used some of that.

Gabe from Cobra Starship wearing a Canadian tuxedo with an NWA patch on the back and a pink collared shirt underneat.... UHHHH stop trying so hard dude, you're making me like your band less and less just by looking at you. Lame.

Funny how the "Fav. International Video" consisted of ALL US RESIDENTS. International as in, not in Canada? What?

Marianas Trench = Performing on the roof where nobody can really see them? Yeah, that makes sense… Entertaining. They are my guilty pleasure. He is the kind of front man that should have been visible during his performance, so animated, so good at expressing the songs. Why they were stuck on a roof is beyond me… And why his tits turned into sparklers…. HA

Again, MTV star Whitney Port, why are you here? And Pauly D... why the fuck are the dumbass cast of Jersey Shore popular??? Seriously.... they deserve fame less than Hitler. How do you get famous for being stupid and tanned? Wow, you have a chest BFD. You're still ugly as fuck so why do we care about what's under the shirt, unless it gets stuck around your head when your'e pulling it off... Hey everybody watching MuchMusic, let's teach our kids that you don't need to be smart or real or whatever to be famous, you just have to tan a lot and start fights... GO VIOLENCE!

TWILIGHT NEEDS TO DIE, ALONG WITH EVERY SINGLE CAST MEMBER. SERIOUSLY.

Could Miley be wearing any tighter clothes? Like, really? And then here comes Snooky spraying water all over these dumb kids who are HOLDING UP DIGITAL CAMERAS while water is being dumped on them. Should we guess how many cam's got ruined in that routine, yeeeesh.

Ke$ha = WHAT a whore. I’m guessing she was lip synching, unlike the other performers. Can she even sing? NO! She sang one part live and more like slurred it together. Oh my god I just can’t get over how much of a whorrible performer she is. Crawling around on the ground? REALLY? Oh my god die, die die die.

Hedley = For a band who writes such “great” and “cute” love songs, the singer really doesn’t lead a good example as he cheats on his wife every fucking chance he gets. He may be a performer, but he makes me want to stab my ears with forks when he sings. I’m glad he spends his thousands on shirts with holes in them, so fashionable Jake… I guess it’s to show how “not perfect” he is.

HILARIOUS, when Girlicious etc came out on stage with Miley and were asked what the worst dance move people came to them with, they practically mimicked the crunking that Miley did during her performance. ZING!

Katy Perry = I have nothing to say, I like her. She’s totally hot!

Drake = I am not on the Drake bandwagon. Am I like the only one? All I have to say about his performance is… MEH

Justin Bieber = Honestly that boy can dance. I’m just happy he didn’t sing that Baby song…. Oh shit, spoke too soon, whatever… the song sucks but the kid is a great performer, and I actually don’t hate him. He’s age appropriate, can really move, and although not for me he’s pretty adorable.

I can't believe that Adam Lambert won over Gaga, Beyonce, Swift, Cyrus etc.... God kids are stupid these days.

Aw, Bieber has REAL, non famous friends! Good.

Miley Cyrus second performance = wow, really costume designer? Haven’t you heard the shit Miley gets from the media after wearing whorewear? Couldn’t you at least try to keep it PG for a fucking MUCH MUSIC AWARDS SHOW? She looks like a huge, huge, huuuuge slut. At least this time she sounded slightly better.

Wow, what a waste of my life watching this.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Change of Ideas, welcome to MY life.

Their album starts off dark and aggressive, with almost Misfit-like danger behind the instruments. The vocals soon hit, lightening the mood slightly as the listener realizes what they're in for...
This is the new LP Crossover from Change of Ideas, a punk band from somewhere south of my ass in the States.
They are my nightly wet dream of the month.
Heavily inspired by bands like Kid Dynamite, 7 Seconds, Gorilla Biscuits, yadda yadda yadda, they might as well have just called themselves 8 Seconds or Big Kid Dynamite since they could have pulled it off with respect. Like totally glad they didn't, but just sayin'.
Nostalgia can be key when hearing bands suitable for your past and its presence is undeniable in Change of Ideas. Their hardcore punk is more old school than anything and although the words are almost unrecognizable at times you can still make out the post teenage angst that proves timeless.
The album has it all: fist pumping moments (and I don't mean 'beatin' the beat'), breakdowns, chants, harmonies, and more... the only thing I have to say is Forget more cowbell, how about MORE BASS! When audible it's by far my favourite piece of the puzzle, and with some songs less than a minute I find myself thrashing around my bedroom, windmilling over stacks of books and cds, before collapsing into a pile of clothes. My energetic bursts after a long day of traveling and father's day family business can only be attributed to the drums that drive the album and make it sound almost like a speed-induced basketball game straight out of Space Jam.
(wow man, this is good shit)
Check them out on their myspace.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Stuck On Planet Earth.... not so bad with bands like this.

Local Toronto band Stuck On Planet Earth (SOPE) have semi-recently posted a couple new songs on their myspace, both of which kept me pretty occupied on this sunny, Friday afternoon while stuck at work.
Passing the time is what good music does best, and once I hit play on the first song “Do It to Me” I swear the entire afternoon flew by faster than Superman on steroids.
The first thing to draw me in was that creeping bass line which felt like a full fist fucking my eardrums before the style of singing stole my attention with an interesting use of timing that filled me with an urge to sing along immediately, causing me to hit repeat more than a few times in an effort to learn the words.
Once I had the chorus down I moved on to hear the rest of the 4 tracks posted and despite starting off with one hell of a song the rest did not disappoint.
There’s a subtle hint of Kings of Leon style rock n roll in the midst of solid alternative grunge good enough to open for Nirvana ten years ago, and although you can practically hear the maturing process as you go back to listen to the older songs it’s obvious that this band is on track to something bigger than the Beatles, or at least bigger than Jesus, no? That might be a mass exaggeration but for the city of Toronto at least the statement holds some truth. Taking a form of music that has been done zillions of time over and has been completely outdated by now and molding it into something timeless and fresh without getting too complicated, I’d say that’s pretty impressive and not something I’ve seen a lot of from similar bands in this city.
The last song “Can’t Lose It” solidified my boner for the band by adding a bit of freakyness to the mix, not to mention a beat that encouraged me to bounce around in my chair and make a total ass of myself in front of each coworker who walked by my desk and caught me in the act.
Each song strikes me as a grower: at first listen I like, at second I love, and at third I’m dripping with lust… literally.
Although good in recording this band is the type of act that will fucking blow you away live, and I absolutely can’t wait to see them.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

All The Trendy Kids: Setting the trends or simply following them?

Mere months ago I would have said they were simply following the trend of 90's punk rock, and doing it well mind you.
Lately though, the band formerly known as The Stiff Wires has a new line up and a new identity, along with a whole new trendsetting ability in the form of one blonde girl.
Adding a pair of boobs into a can of dicks can really change the flavour of the whole can, and with an additional female vocal in the three man harmony this band has exceeded my earlier expectations and opened up a whole new smell of possibilities.
Her first Toronto show with the band was Friday night at the Velvet Underground, and of course it rained on my trip down for the third wet concert venture of the week.
As soon as they started playing and she unleashed her surprisingly soft and feminine sounding vocals into a mix of poppy skate punk I was more than a bit shaken by the contrast. What struck me as out of place at first quickly gained not only my full attention but also my complete respect... for the first time I was seeing a very girly side of punk rock, and I actually really enjoyed this more vulnerable side to the genre. Obviously not the first time female vocals have been introduced into a band like this, but all the ladies I can recall like Brody Dalle and Kathleen Hanna, and Haley whateverthefuck from Paramore for a more current comparison, were/are definitely more dude-type girls and weren't quite the cute and girly type.
This difference reminded me of The Hush Sound who I had a huge hard on for a few years ago, except way less emo and way more ballsy.
Although at times grasping to keep control and strength to her voice the sound of it still complimented the shit out of the other three singers in the front, and at times even had my heart skipping a few beats back and forth in my chest over the beauty of it all.
Vocals aside, I have to say the unfortunate part about her performance was that since she wasn't playing any instrument, or singing in every verse, she was left with little else to do on stage but dance and look pretty damn awkward while everything else was happening. Time will solve the problem of comfort on stage but I'm not sure if it will heal the problem of her filling space by dancing... considering she dances much like I do, all hands and no rhythm!
ZING!
I'm kidding, actually she had much more rhythm than I did, but it didn't mesh 100% with the punk rock being played around her.
Personally I'd like to see her doing a little more on stage... she needs to get creative and find her true style and personality in front of an audience and perfect it... while focusing on being entertaining, always.
Always.
That aside I'm really excited to see her perform with them again in a couple months, she will only get better from here.


Oh, the rest of the band was great too, but I think I've talked about them quite enough for now.
:P

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Still Life Still + The Order Of Good Cheer = Meatylicious!

Ugh, so late on this review that I barely even remember the show now (shows how well my memory works from Wednesday until Saturday) but I've been soo freakin' busy this week, SORRY!
I'm probably not going to get into a lot of detail but I'll at least wrap the show up in a nice, flashy wrapping.

Let's set the scene shall we?
It's Wednesday night, it's pouring... enter The Piston, a fairly fresh new bar/venue at Ossington and Bloor in Toronto. The smell of meat fills the air as you walk past the bar in the front and enter the separate, cozy room at the rear with a stage and a sound man. Despite me leaving extremely late, AGAIN, I arrived before the first band I wanted to see took the stage and at this point there was barely anybody else there... The only thing I could think of at this point was that I was a shoe-in for the meat draw that the $5 ticket contributed towards, since the odds were based on the number of people there.
That's right, a bag of pulled pork was up for grabs.
I wish I were a lucky person....
Anyway, I didn't have to wait too long before Still Life Still took the stage with their TWO double keyboards taking up a lot of room. It was the first time they'd played with all 4 keys and it went over surprisingly smooth given the lack of moving/grooving space.
Suddenly there was a huge group of people gathered to watch the band, decreasing my meat odds to slim-impossible.
For the second time seeing this band I was doubly impressed this time.
The somewhat trippy, almost psychedelic style of indie rock was interesting and to balance out the sound there was this dark, Conor Oberst thing going on with some of the vocals that helps to incorporate a lot more into the music than just straight indie rock, which I normally don't appreciate too much.
The members each seem like jack-of-all-trade types as the keyboard and guitar were passed around from one member to the next.
The only thing that made me wince a little bit while watching/listening was this crazy, weird background noise coming from the new keyboard (I'm only assuming) that kind of sounded like a whale giving birth during the second song. Luckily it went away after that one and these sort of effects ended up sounding a lot better deeper into the set.
Each member was a treat to watch as they grooved along to each song, and the audience loved it!

Next up was The Order Of Good Cheer to end the night and raffle the meat, which obviously I lost otherwise this review would have been more about how lovely it tasted than anything.
They were a lot more top 40 sounding live than on their myspace, but I still really love them just due to the country vibe they throw out there. The smell of meat must have been losing me though because all my notes refer to is how good it smelled standing at the back beside the meat table.
Oops!
These guys were awesome though, and are playing The Piston ever Wednesday this spring I think.
Check it out on their myspace.

The Avett Brothers Kick Drummed My Heart and Vagina at the Phoenix.

I think Life itself hates me! Or at least loves to torment me.
As hard as I tried, as much as I procrastinated, and as heavily as I drank I just could not manage to leave my house late enough to miss the first act at the Avett Brothers concert last night at the Phoenix. It’s not that I had anything against Jessica Lea Mayfield, I actually had never even heard of her before… HOWEVER the excitement I felt about getting to see the Avett Brothers FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER was just too much to have to harness for any longer than I had to.
The doors opened at 7:30, I left my house at 8:30 worried that because of my poor timing habits I would actually miss some of my future husband* Scott’s, errr what I mean is the Avett Brothers’, performance.
*Please note that I will most likely be referring to Scott as my future hubby a lot during this review, and I swear I’m not usually like this except with the Dylan family but I just wanted to stick it in him so bad after last night.*
Anyway, turns out the subway was shut down at Spadina, so my lateness became even later as I fought for a cab outside the station and had to sit through traffic across Bloor Street to get to the show.
Needless to say I didn’t get there until after 9pm, and guess fucking what? I STILL managed to see at least 3 songs of Miss Mayfield.
Holy vagina Batman!
I’m not at all sad on making it in time after all that. She was amazing, and after reading this on her myspace I think I’ve found my future wife as well.
“Right now, I'm going for a cross between a Ricky Skaggs '80s mullet and Carol Brady bangs," says Mayfield. "It truly is the most rebellious hairstyle I can possibly do. People are like, 'Oh mohawks, or indie kids that shave one side of their head with a braid, or lightning bolts.' No! The most rebellious thing you can possibly do is a fucking mullet, and I'm going to make it look good.”
She even had the impossible love of my life, Scott, come out and sing with her on stage.
HANDS OFF BITCH!

(old picture, sorry I forgot my camera!)
I kid, I kid….
The crowd was so much different than I expected at this show. There were tattoo’s all around me, and more young people than old. Many girls in slutty summer dresses and every single one of them on the arm of some jock guy. Seriously, I think I was the only non-couple there. How embarrassing!
I wanted to befriend every single person in the venue and if I didn’t get so reclusively stoned out of my mind by the time I showed up I probably would have. I love people who love country. There, I said it. Plaid shirts (which I’d say 70% of the men were sporting) and cowboy boots will always have a special place in my heart, not to mention an extra special place in my vagina.
It’s weird, as much Emo crap music as I’ve listened to in my day, all the Bright Eyes and Brand New and so on, nothing makes me as emotional as country music does. It seriously makes me want to cry constantly, whether out of sadness or happiness or even indifference. Tears must have welled up in my eyes on at least twenty different occasions during the show, including Miss Mayfield’s foreign (to me) set. I’m surprised I didn’t leave the Phoenix sobbing out of pure joy….come to think of it I probably could have scored a free cab ride home if I had. Dammit!
Anyway, maybe I should stop this incessant rambling and actually talk about the part of the show that matters…. The man of my dreams, and the man who I will forever look for a body double of to call my own… Scott.
KIDDING, I mean the music obviously.
First off, here’s the set list for the night. The only disappointment? They didn’t play “Walking for You” which is probably my favourite song, but they did play a lot of other gems, including many from I and Love and You.

1. Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise
2. Die, Die, Die
3. I Would Be Sad
4. Kick Drum Heart
5. Shame
6. Tin Man
7. One Line Wonder
8. Denouncing November Blue (Uneasy Writer)
9. Paranoia in B Flat Major
10. Pretty Girl From Cedar Lane
11. When I Drink
12. Yard Sale
13. Where Have All the Average People Gone (Roger Miller cover)
14. Ill With Want
15. Distraction #74
16. And It Spread
17. Laundry Room
18. Slight Figure of Speech
19. I and Love and You
ENCORE:
20. Down With A Glistening Shine
21. Colorshow

My stomach was already in lustful turmoil as the band took the stage and my one and only sat down to tickle the ivories for the first song, his voice billowing from the stage.
Not even half way through "Head Full Of Doubt..." I was already overwhelmed and wished I could sit down and fan myself for a minute, and as my lovely moved from piano to banjo for the next song it proved hard to keep my eyes solely on him as the man with the cello seized my attention and reminded me of the cello version of Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid… The Cello Master! As my hubby-to-be strummed away on his banjo and sang about marriage in “I Would Be Sad” I had to hold myself back from pushing my way towards the stage and pledging my love to him. How I could have ever been transformed into groupie-mode for a non Dylan is beyond me, but I now feel like I know the infatuation that Justin Bieber fans feel towards their little Ike-N-Dyke.
Future P in my V’s brother then moved to the piano for the next song, another all time favourite of mine “Kick Drum Heart” and as I fought back tears of pure joy Mr. P in my V himself screamed into the mic and convulsed with his banjo, his jerky movements making me want his P just that much further… *cough* and I literally thought my heart would stop as the band beat theirs on in the end of the song.
I have to say, the vocal juggling between brothers and sometimes others was superb and timed to the T, not to mention the juggling of instruments as both brothers moved back and forth between piano and guitar and banjo and even cymbals at times. There was a fantastic upright bass breakdown during “One Line Wonder” and the entire bands ability to sync together was absolutely mind-blowing.
During another favourite, “Paranoia in B Flat Major” I decided that jerky banjo players are my new obsession, fuck the harmonica… no wait, I love both, or either or, regardless it was so much fun to watch the dick-that-has-yet-to-lay-me-but-really-should spastically gesturing to the audience with his left hand during certain lyrics WHILE simultaneously strumming on the banjo with his right. At this point I realized I had this huge shit-eating grin on my face which was very embarrassing since I was all by my lonesome in between many, many couples and MANY MANY BEARDS (seriously, beard overload, and by overload I mean my load was all over.)
I don’t know what else to say, except that they continued this way for almost two full hours, and thanked the audience literally after every song. “Laundry Room” and “Slight Figure of Speech” were just as involved and energetic live in real life as you see in the live videos they have on YouTube, and every second was better than I ever imagined. When they returned to the stage for their encore they even told the audience “We would love to play another song for y’all, thank you so much” and then and there I decided that I won’t settle for any man who isn’t country and as courteous as these rock stars on stage. Not to mention wears plaid shirts, has a beard and is named Scott… okay, okay, so the name is taking this a little too far, whatever.

(sorry, once again not a picture from last night...whomp on me)

I'm Sarah. I am officially an Avett groupie. HOW EMBARRASSING!

^^^most embarrassing thing I've ever posted^^^