Pennywise/The Riverboat Gamblers/Authority Zero @ Sound Academy

Man, I am completely swamped this week so I apologize profusely in advance because this review is kind of late, kind of rushed, and kind of not my best material. On top of shit blowing the fuck up for me at MSB we just lost our (stolen) internet at home exactly when I needed it most for all the interviews and crap we did over the weekend. *grumbles* I guess that’s karma for stealing it in the first place…
Whatever. What is it that I’m even reviewing here…
Authority Zero/The Riverboat Gamblers/Pennywise at the Sound Academy this past Friday.
First of all I have to say I fucking HATE the Sound Academy… mostly because of the shit-tacular location that takes at least 30 minutes and at least $20 (taxi) to get to from anywhere in the city. I swear you could be down the road at the Go Karts and it would STILL take you half an hour to get to the fucking thing.
Of course we left super early and ended up STILL missing the first couple Authority Zero songs, which was the whole reason I was there to see the show (that and The Riverboat Gamblers are like my favourite band in life) and I spent probably $50 on cabs to and from the damn venue that night. I really need to figure out how to claim this shit on my taxes…. Anybody? Mom?
Luckily we did catch most of Authority Zero thanks to a very coordinated cab driver and THANK FUCKING SPOCK that we did because holy cow, they destroyed every assumption I had in my head over how they’d be after 15+ years of performing.
They moved around that stage as if they were in high school still, it was a spectacular sight - one that had me pretty much frozen in place for their whole set. The one aspect of their performance and energy that held hands with the fact that they are pretty much veterans was how they were able to get the crowd so completely involved with the performance, the singer was racing around stage and jumping onto barriers and reaching the audience, forcing everyone to get into it. And the best part was the number of super young fans who were there singing along to every word. It was kick ass!

Next band to perform was The Riverboat Gamblers, who ever since I caught their too-short set at Warped Tour 2010 I have been DYING to see again, and literally dreaming about how fucking nasty (like good nasty) they are on stage. I can honestly say they put on one of the best shows I’ve ever witnessed, and I have seen way too many shows to count. The funniest part about them is that the singer looks and dresses very similar to the lead singer of Mariana’s Trench, but the music is a thousand times more badass and another thousand times just simply better. For one of the first times I actually used my media pass to take pictures of them on stage and it literally made my life to be that close to these guys (and I never get like this) … having the singer literally BOUNDING over me while I sat there with my mouth wide open hoping his penis would miraculously fall inside it (WHOA, kidding, kidding…. And just fyi this joke is based on how intensely amazing the music/band is, and has nothing to do with his looks or any of that slutty girl shit) it was like my dreams all came true in that 40 minutes alone. Being so close had me in complete awe and I almost couldn’t function up there (but I did, and well too because my pictures ROCK!) and I felt fully VIP with each member posing for my pictures and fully aware of my presence. Thanks for making my life RG!
Check out a shitty sounding but wicked looking video of their performance here!

And on that note, thanks Pennywise for immediately destroying my buzz.
I don’t even know how much I want to go into details about their mediocre performance, but I was really let down by it. Considering I’ve seen Pennywise a bunch before I know how wicked they could be, and new singer or not has nothing to do with it (because Ignite is fucking awesome!) there was just absolutely no edge to any of the songs and it felt completely fake, forced and just plain fuuuucked.
I was bored, to say the very least.
And I mean, they had a fucking clapalong… Pennywise…. A clapalong… a buh?
Last time I saw Pennywise I almost got crushed, literally crushed, between like 5 huge biker dicks moshing so hard around me that I’m pretty sure I broke some bones – now THAT was a fun show!
No wonder the Sound Academy was only at HALF of it’s normal size for the show… maybe everybody else found out how bad the band is now and bailed early. The Sound Academy’s sound is shit to begin with and with only one guitar and only half the venue it was worse than I thought possible.
At one point the band announced that they were going to play a “fast song” and played one that was even slower than the previous, which I at least got a good laugh at. Each sounded like it was moving at snail pace compared to any other time I’ve seen them, and age can’t have anything to do with it after Authority Zero ripped their shit apart the way they did.
Not only was it painfully slow, but it was also PAINFULLY SCRIPTED. Fletcher seemed to have had every single move planned on stage that showcased him, and the singer was basically sucking his dick the entire time by throwing the attention towards him constantly.
I have a lot more written down about how crappy it was but to be honest this is really depressing me talking about it, so I’m going to end things here.

(click on all the pictures to see the rest of the album!)

I’m Sarah. I do what I want.