The Painted Lady Ruins Lives. (Or rather just bands if I lose the dramatic)

Seriously fuck that place. I fucking hate it.
I knew going there to see Carlo Meriano last night would be a bad idea. But Carlo's coolness acted as swift kick in the butt forceful enough that I actually entered the dreaded hipster hell hole. And I was excited about it until I realized that the band hadn't even hit the stage yet though I showed up at the exact time they were supposed to start. Granted technical difficulties were rumoured to have prolonged the band before from playing their set on time, which happens. However, a hole fucking hour later in that disgusting shoe box of a venue squished up against a pile of coats taking up a horribly placed chair seemed like a ridiculously long time to wait for a guy who was started off his set solo. Finally he hit the stage and my mood struggled to improve as the thick framed moustached crowd surged forward around me into the NO SPACE that was precariously strewn around a few unnecessary tables right in front of the stage. Stop having shows there, aside from low key cafe style solo artists performing not to a crowd at the front but to a busy bar, seriously, and if you insist on it then move those fucking tables so that you can fit more than 3 people in a damn row. GAWWWWHHHDDD. Short people have no business being in that place during a show, for realz.
ANYHOO, as if the whole venue+crowd+waiting wasn't bad enough Carlo's brother got on stage and wasted more time talking about shit that only friends of him or his bro would give a shit about instead of just playing some damn music, and when he finished I was bombarded with an annoying Christmas cover to start the set. EW. Enough is enough. By this time my attention was fully lost on this performance and zero'd in on falafel, but I reminded myself just how fucking awesome his album was when I reviewed it and literally FORCED myself to stand still for 2 more songs, the second which was actually pretty cute but slightly boring without the rest of the band, and the third being another stupid Christmas song that I might actually have appreciated if I was happy at the show or at least in a better venue. I couldn't take anymore at that point and when that song finished and gave way to more talking I knew I had to get out of there. The end. And by the way I didn't get my falafel because of how late it was on a Sunday. DAMN YOU PAINTED LADY, DAMMMNNN YOUUUUUU.

Now look. None of this is a reflection of Carlo Meriano, I still think he's damn good and am going to see him at Sneaky Dee's where the people AND the venue are far superior to this dirty ditch of a bar, and I will ACTUALLY review it then. For now, fuck the Painted Lady. See a summary of my thoughts below.

Picture of legs and BUTT: Awesome.
Tits: Awesome.
Door guy: Awesome.
Bartender: Awesome.
Carlo Meriano: Awesome.
Christmas songs he played: Not Awesome. - Although may have been awesome elsewhere.
Carlo's Bro: Not Awesome.
Set Up Time: Not Awesome.