CMW/CMF: Meanwood @ Rancho Relaxo

So.
This is by far the BEST moment of this year's Canadian Music Week.

AND I MISSED IT!!!

Wahhhhh.

But I'm still going to tell you about it because it's fucking amazing.

Meanwood, a band you all know I love, played at Rancho on Friday night.
Unfortunately their bass player got hit by a streetcar and broke his collar bone sometime before the show.
They found somebody to replace him I guess, but near the end of the set this super hero of a man actually GOT UP ON STAGE, BROKEN COLLAR BONE AND ALL, and played the last bunch of songs with them, even doing an encore (despite the fact that they weren't the headliners even!).

Fucking right on.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: C T Z N S H P @ Rancho Relaxo

When good bands do bad covers.

I caught C T Z N S H P at Rancho at some point on Friday of CMW, and I initially liked them a bunch.

Until they whipped out a Kings Of Leon cover.

This is a perfect example of how covering one terrible band can ruin you're entire set.

PLEASE will somebody tell me that this was an inside joke to the band?
PLEASE tell me this wasn't seriously something they did to showcase their talents at Canadian Music Week.
PLEASE let nobody ever cover that stupid band, or even like them, ever again.
PLEASE.

KINGS OF LEON ARE OVER.
DIEEEEEE.

Aside from that I have no further opinion about C T Z N S H P.
I wouldn't go out of my way to see them again because of the unsure nature in regards to covering that song. But because they were actually really good up until that point I wouldn't leave if I had to see them again, in fact, I would welcome it in hopes that they would NOT cover that song and I would get a fair chance to judge them for their own music without a cloud of "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" hanging over the stage.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: Cloud Nothings @ Lee's Palace

Well well well.
Just when I was beginning to think this years CMW line up was actually all decent the Cloud Nobodies showed up and sent me the opposite direction of Cloud 9, straight down to Cocytus, the 9th and final level of Hell with the band playing the part of Satan himself, tormenting my ears for what felt like an eternity with their dreadful clothes-pin-on-the-nose vocals and terrible pop "rock" music. Wait, I think music deserves to be " " 'd there too.
All I can say is that the vomit comet passed along Bloor early that Friday night, and I couldn't believe how many people weren't puking their ears out at the sound of it.

I felt like I was back in grade 6 or 7 at some lame school dance that for some reason scored a live band.
They came, they played medium-hard and they conquered zzz's from the audience. Or at least they should have... for some reason the crowd at Lee's actually seemed to like them, something I couldn't understand for the life of me.
I admit I almost didn't mind them when the singer shut his trap long enough for me to be able to think and they started rocking out, but it all felt so contrived... almost like Show and Tell but with each member fighting for attention from the class at the same time. They all made it appear like they were doing something way cooler with the way they stood and stance'd, yet it was nothing new, nothing amazing, and definitely nothing worth EVER seeing or thinking about again.

According to my probably-drunk-by-this-point notes: "It could have been good if it wasn't SO BAD."

And I will leave you with that brilliant statement.

Good day.

I'm Sarah, I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: Pow Wows @ Silver Dollar

I didn't plan on staying at Silver Dollar long enough for this band but ended up running into people who gave me lots of beer, so of course I stayed until said beer was done, you would have too.

I'm not sure if it was the beer or the band, but I was quite pleased with their performance and was glad that I stayed, even though it made me late for everything else that night including the impossible-to-get-into Zeus + Eight and a Half show at the Horseshoe :( - which to be fair I never would have gotten into anyway, unless I lined up before the doors even opened... and like, I'm not in highschool anymore, I'll never willingly be that eager again. Whomp whomp.

Pow Wow's were sorta rock-a-billy-rock-n-roll-stoner-rock, music that crept towards you on its knees, down on the dirty ground, staring you in the face with it's grinding garage'yness before jumping up in your face, kicking it into high gear, and just pyschedelically surfing on their awesome wave of rock.




I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: Patti Cake @ Silver Dollar

FINALLY! I have been struggling to make it to one of Patti Cake (more like Party TITS!)'s shows for a while now, ever since they shared their existence with me and I got hooked on their EP.



I LOVE LOVE LOVE listening to their songs online but for some reason that love didn't fully translate into their live performance. Something was missing.. something disabled the band from blowing me away 60's style on stage like the EP does over shitty computer speakers. And I don't quite know why.
They sounded bang on, they didn't seem overly nervous, and though they were missing one member it was only a backup singer and her spot was filled by another gal with a good voice. So I still fail to understand why they lacked that UMPH live, when the UMPH in recording is undeniable.
Hmm.
The singer did her breast to make up for it with her hilarious, weird, classy stage banter about water bubble burps and smelly feet (totally things I would have talked about if I were on stage) and her voice was insanely great. I'd say she succeeded in the making-up-for-whatever-is-missing department. The cleavage helped a little too.
The drummer, though, blew myself and everybody around me away. He was like a living, breathing, multi-tasking metronome, and the only negative thing I have to say about Patti Cakes performance in full is that the world needs to hear that drummer far better than was possible at this show.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Warped Tour Doc: "No Room For Rockstars"

I feel like Oscar the Grouch, permanently stuck in the garbage can of 90's punk rock, hating the electro pop punk world around me more and more each day. Lashing out at it all, refusing to accept change, only happy with my head fully emerged in the smelly, crusty, tattered remains of what used to be cool in my day, to my people.
Bashing what the Vans Warped Tour has become is the cool thing for us to do now, and I almost feel like a broken record bringing the issue up again, I mean, it is what it is by now. I appreciate the few good bands who still put up with the rest of the ***** little bitches for any part of the tour, like Face To Face, Bouncing Souls (who seriously suck now live, sorrry), Anti-Flag, Less Than Jake... but to be honest just looking at the line ups for the last few years, this year being one of the worst, it just kills me a bit inside. Softly, emo-ly, lame-ly.
For that reason I can't fully accept and / or care at all about the new Warped Tour Documentary.
It's the second Warped Tour Documentary to come out, so I'm not expecting them to focus on the beginning history of the tour or anything, the first one even featured bands like 3OH!3 already among other terrible-considering-the-warped-tour-title acts. This new one focuses on 3 dudes/bands that I can't produce an ounce of affliction towards.
I mean, I love documentaries, I used to love Warped Tour, and I love witnessing the difference between audience experience and band experience, as long as it's a band I'm somewhat remotely partial to.
Considering this doc was filmed in 2012 with very little of those bands involved makes me just, not, at all, interested.
That said, the way the doc was done was cool, the idea was cool, and if I cared more, I would think it was all around cool.

Meh.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: The Dears @ El Mocambo

All I could think leading up to seeing The Dears tonight was OMG THE DEARS OMG THE DEARS OMG THE DEARS OMG THE DEARS. My brain felt like a Barbie doll with only one saying every time the talk-to-me-string wass pulled. OMG OMG OMG.
A Barbie that's privy to internet speak apparently.
Them hitting the stage was epic to begin with. Epic-ally FUNNY. Some guy was just blabbing on and on and on but nobody (as in, at least me and probably a few others) couldn't make out what the fuck he was saying, until all of a sudden twice as loud we just heard "THE DEARS" and mad applause ring out all around us.
There was this haunting intensity radiating off the stage from the start, and I was immediately hooked like one is on a feeling.. can't stop this feeling, deep inside of me...
By the second song even.my vagina was drooling.
Despite the fact that I was kind of far away and wearing my gleeeses (therefore couldn't see a dang thing) I still ended up mesmerised by the little dots I assume were the band on stage. Kaa from Jungle Book and his hypnotic talents couldn't compete with The Dears for attention. He'd be defeated in a second.



The singer worked the tambourine like it was a Kaa he held firmly in his hands, slamming around with it hissing it's ssss's past the mic.
"5 chords" and "Who Are You, Defenders Of The Universe" both hook-murdered me like everybody but Jennifer Love Hewitt in the I Know What You Did Last Summer Movies, and I almost cried when it was all over and it was time for me to go home.
Unforgettable vocals.
Splendid performance.

CMW is off to a good start this year!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

CMW/CMF: Topanga @ Silver Dollar

I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to seeing Topanga this CMW. The second I witnessed them on stage I realized how undeniable the relation between being happy and being at a show is. It's concerts like this that fuel me up on life, makes me feel alive like that old Edwin song. I wonder if future Edwin had seen Topanga and gone back to the past to write about the experience in that song.
I wish he could have come up with a better video though, talk about bore-ville.
Anyway, Topanga were as enthralling as the baked bike ride downhill in the dark to the show... that is until they curb stomped the fuck out of enthralling with a politely aggravated rock out jam session.
The band, the singer and his demanding vocals in particular, were producing literal screamgasms from the fans as they played and he c-rock-ooned.
Comparisons to Portugal. The Man at times, The Strokes at other times, and Against Me! at other rare times kept flashing through my ears, (remember though, I was fairly baked)... along with elements of 'would-be-too-poppy-if-it-wasn't-so-fucking-good at all times.
And the Weakerthans the cover made me swoon.

They left me on my knees...



Side story: At one point this super short dude stood in front of me and I had no problem seeing over him so I thought to myself, man, I feel like a man! It was awesome.

I'm Sarah, I do what I want.

The Kindred

Holy fuck. Imagine the WORST smelling shit you've ever taken. Like, after a night of beer and whiskey drinking, mixed with a dinner full of beans and twenty big macs, plus asparagus and steak and sausage. Convert smell to sound, and you have The Kindred.

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That is 110% UNTRUE.
I was asked to write this review what seems like YEARS ago and kept losing the email, forgetting, not having time, and just being a real dick.
The dude has been really cool about it and super patient, so why not be a dick one more time while I still can and pretend I hate the album.
I'm Funny.
I just wish I saw his face as he read that his band was of the poo stench... after all this time waiting.
muahahahaha.
It's actually the complete opposite.
If The Kindred were a scent they would be the scent of some sort of delicious wood, because of the sexual connotations referring to the boner in my ears from listening, and because for a smell it's pretty damn hard, and they're a pretty legit punk band. Melodic, yet rigorous, with severe breakdowns, drums so fast your ears can barely catch up to them, metal-worthy soloing, vocals that you'd worship in the late 80's/early 90's, a bit of that Pennywise tough-as-fuck flavour, creating a sound fully unscathed by the craptastic era of electro pop poo-nk. Ugh.
I'm so glad they didn't stink up my speakers with that crap now that I've finally gotten around to listening to them.
They'd be the equivalent of how a virgin smells to Jean-Baptiste Grenouille in the book Perfume.
In other words, they smell like fresh vaginas and give awkward murderers a hard on for killing.
?????
Anyway I wish I didn't put hearing this band off for so long, I could have been seriously enjoying myself for the last few months had I not.
I guess I'll just have to make up for it now by listening to them over... and over...... and over.........

You should check them out too, and buy the album on Itunes (they made me say that! hehe but do it anyway!). It's called Exacerbate by the way. And, in case you didn't gather from the above ramblings, I FUCKING LOVE IT.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Kindred

Holy fuck. Imagine the WORST smelling shit you've ever taken. Like, after a night of beer and whiskey drinking, mixed with a dinner full of beans and twenty big macs, plus asparagus and steak and sausage. Convert smell to sound, and you have The Kindred.

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That is 110% UNTRUE.
I was asked to write this review what seems like YEARS ago and kept losing the email, forgetting, not having time, and just being a real dick about it.
The dude has been really cool about it and super patient, so why not be a huge cunt about it and pretend I hate the album.
I'm Funny.
I just wish I saw his face as he read that his band was of the poo stench... after all this time waiting.
muahahahaha.
It's actually the complete opposite.
If The Kindred were a scent they would be the scent of some sort of delicious wood, because of the sexual connotations referring to the boner in my ears from listening, and because for a smell it's pretty damn hard, and they're a pretty legit punk band. Melodic, yet rigorous, with severe breakdowns, drums so fast your ears can barely catch up to them, metal-worthy soloing, vocals that you'd worship in the late 80's/early 90's, a bit of that Pennywise tough-as-fuck flavour, creating a sound fully unscathed by the craptastic era of electro pop poo-nk. Ugh.
I'm so glad they didn't stink up my speakers with that crap now that I've finally gotten around to listening to them.
They'd be the equivalent of how a virgin smells to Jean-Baptiste Grenouille in the book Perfume.
In other words, they smell like fresh vaginas and give awkward murderers a hard on for killing.
?????
Anyway I wish I didn't put hearing this band off for so long, I could have been seriously enjoying myself for the last few months had I not.
I guess I'll just have to make up for it now by listening to them over... and over...... and over.........

You should check them out too, and buy the album on Itunes (they made me say that! hehe but do it anyway!). It's called Exacerbate by the way. And, in case you didn't gather from the above ramblings, I FUCKING LOVE IT.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Playing catch up Pre-CMW

Wow. Only 3 albums left to write blurbs about before I am FINALLY caught up on my emails since the start of 2012.

These are going to be short and crappy but I don't care, and if you care, well, I feel sorry for you having to read this :P.

The first band is Snow Ghost. They have an EP (or 'Mini Album') streaming on bandcamp which I'll post below. They're a post-progressive duo from Chicago according to their email to me, and by golly I think their music is pretty neat. It's out there, like Madonna's tits in the 80's, and the more confused I become the harder my hard-on becomes. Makes sense right?


The second band/group/whatthefuckever is Christ vs Krishna and their full length album called Sidewalk Astronomy.
They're from Toronto, and they play vintage ambient brit inspired pop rock.
They've got a lot going for them I'd say...
They've got beats.
They've got hooks.
They've got rhythm.
And they've got flava!
Sarah likey!
Sarah wishes she had more time to talk about this album.
But Sarah is too fucking busy, so this is all they get.
DEAL WITH IT!
And listen here, kk?


The third and final blurb I will have for you later tonight.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want, which isn't much.

2 Bands I've Written About Before... Come Back For More

holy fuck. CMW is next week, and I'm still trying to catch up on reviews from January.
Fuck.
so anyway, sorry to these two bands who I have taken way too long to review (again) and have to put together in one crappy short review, but, I neeeeed to get all this done by next week. Or I'm more fucked than I am already!

My own fault, really.

Anyway both these guys I've reviewed before, so it's no surprise that I like their new shit.

The first is Oh! Polyphony, who I reviewed here, and who are back with a new EP called Coasting. Their sound is almost so soft that I can't hear them on my computer speakers with the volume at full, but I can still pick out those divine harmonies I mentioned the first time around, and they've only grown more transcendent. This EP reminds me, for some odd reason, of the soundtrack to Bambi, that haunting sound pushing winter into the past and making way for spring, and a new beginning, leaving behind all the sorrows of the dark dismal past and opening yourself up for new, wonderful experiences. It's almost too fitting that the track titled "PARTY!!!" is only 9 seconds, otherwise it may have completely thrown off the whole mood... And then there's the Stray Kites cover, which is phenomenal.
Love.
Listen to it here.



The second/last/not least band is Caustic Casanova who Chris James Bitch actually reviewed way back here, are back with a full length titled Someday You Will Be Proven Correct. And damn, Chris was/is a great reviewer, I wish he was writing this for you right now because he'd probably do a way better job! So my apologies in advance for not measuring up. In my opinion this new album has taken those 'big shoes' Chris mentioned needed filling, and filled them so tight that they actually stretched them the fuck out, leaving Washington's other band with smaller looking feet than ever before.
Although the vocals aren't my favourite ever, which is probably only because my computer speakers are super shitty so don't quote me on that, the guitar solos make up for it tenfold, and I find myself getting lost rocking out with my head down and my tits up, enjoying every song on this album and still wanting more after 12 songs.

Rock out with your tits out too, here.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Animal Confession...

Animal Confession is an alt n'hard rock band from Ottawa.
When I listen to them I hear a tamer, lamer, Nine Inch Nails.
I like Nine Inch Nails.
I don't much like the rest of this hard rock genre stuff tho.
I find the vocals obnoxiously terrible, and the droning rock music annoying.
Maybe I'm just in a sour mood right now.
It's quite possible this band put me there.
It sounds like a mangy dog ralphed all over your nice clean white carpet after eating a small rodent, and you find fragments of hair and bone and blood throughout the mess, and the dog is just sitting there, head down in a manor of regret, confessing to the smelly pile of puke.
GROSS!

If you want to take a whiff of this bile of death, go here.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Bottle Rocket, not staring either of the Wilson brothers, yet still a hit!

If you happen to remember my first review of a band called Bottle Rocket a while back then you deserve a gold star, because to be honest I don't remember writing that AT ALL!
I do remember loving the band though, which is why I'm taking the time to review their second EP The Wolf. The Snake. The Bear. Finally. Only like a month late.
This time around the band has traded some of that drab'ness in for a more motley attitude, though still somehow remaining pococurante in the overall feeling making me as a listener that much more intrigued by this EP.
Are any of you familiar with Guild Wars?
Allow me to nerd out for a second: In the game you can acquire a Bottle Rocket, an item that "creates a visual effect, visible for all players in a district to see and hear. The effect begins as a vertical smoke trail speeding up and away from the character, and then a small "pop" with a visible burst over the characters head." (wiki)
This is kind of the effect I imagine the band having, only invisible, and that little puff of smoke, effortless on behalf of the band, is your mood while listening to this EP... increasing as soon as you hit play and climaxing high above your normal mood plateau as you reach the last song, which is my favourite.

It's definitely worth checking out. HERE.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Jim Ivins Band is a gal's w. d.

Hey Ladies!
Have I got the voice for you.
Meet The Jim Ivins Band.
Super swoon-worthy vocals that even have me melting a bit below the belt.
Even if he is singing love-y dove-y, radio friendly, almost-too-cheesy-but-I'll-let-it-slide-because-it's-cute music.
Brilliantly structured pop/rock in a commercial kind of way.
So catchy that it should be used in Tee Ball to boost kids self esteem.

Almost too perfect, with the only flaw in my opinion being too many 'wahh-o's.
I find myself constantly pulled in by the sound of his voice, it's all so hooky that I can't hate it, even if I want to, which I do. I really do.
But I can't.
This band is going to drive a lot of young girls crazy.
They're like The Goo Goo Dolls of the lamer era of radio rock.

LISTEN HERE!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

this band can Victim my Party any day, not that they'd want to after that terrible connotation.

I seriously can't stop listening to The Victim Party's album The Worst Party On Earth.

It's like an addiction that attaches itself to your ears with it's tentacles of necessity.
It's such a perfect popish punk album that's so awesomely catchy that you just don't mind it latching onto you for days.
I think a lot of people around me at work may mind, since I've already listened to it 3 times today and am on my 4th.
Or, considering how damn good it is, I bet they too want more.

Let's go for round 5.

LISTEN YOURSELF HERE!

And check out their CD release tonight at Sneaky Dee's!
Wish I could be there :(



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Hey Rosetta! You Make Me Wet-a!

God, I love this band.
If you like, oh I don't know, GOOD THINGS, then you do / will too.
Their latest album Seeds is better than good, better than great, better than WHUT WHUT IN YOUR BUTT-FULL OF AWESOME.
For realz.
It's filled to the brim with predictable build ups that are only predictable in the sense that they make you want it so bad that you essentially will it to happen.. but only after they lead you on and on and on... before exploding suddenly all over your tits.
And immediately they're ready to go again, rejuvenating themselves by pumping pumping pumping the heart strings until you're so wound up and you just can't handle feeling all those feelings anymore and so then YOU explode, probably all over your own tits, and they just start building you up all over again.

But then WAM-O, unpredictable drums just beating you into a frenzy, into a whole new form of pleasure you have yet to experience.
Like a titty-jerk.
No, a symphony of titty jerks.

Not to mention there's an acoustic EP if you like it slow and soft. Which I do. And it's fucking amazing. Flawless vocals, gorgeous harmonies, talent just oozing out of every orifice possible.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.