LAMB IS WATCHING .... PORN.

If music were porn, last nights show at Parts & Labour would have been one hell of a romp tape.
I know that music ISN'T porn, obbbbbbbviously. But for some reason my mind has created an entire erotica based on the Off With Their Heads/Miracles/School Damage show I saw last night.
AND IT'S ALL SCHOOL DAMAGE'S FAULT!
They played so fucking hard that it was impossible not to think about, well, fucking.
But then again maybe that's just me, I tend to relate all things hard and fast to sex. And School Damage are definitely hard and fast.
I also tend to relate every pair of round things to boobs apparently.
Anyboob (those o's are boobs to me), watching them perform was like watching a hardcore sex scene where a girl is getting hammered from behind to a soundtrack of fast-paced punk rock while their poppy TBR style vocals add some tit bouncing lightness to the session.
They played with a fury worthy of the Gods, which makes me imagine Zeus as the main character in this sexssion, givin' it to Hera, or Leto or any of his other skanks.
At one point the bass and guitar hung back to draw the focus to the drummer and his faster-than-cheetah-like beats, WHICH WAS AWESOME and in this porn would be depicted as the cameras swiveling around to focus on Zeus' butt for a few minutes.
Honestly go see these guys, their stamina is insane, barely taking any breaks between songs and never wavering their HAMMERING ABILITIEZZZZ!
*insert some useless porn plot here*
The next sexcene takes place in a dirty motorcycle bar with Motorhead blaring in the background, featuring a scary dude with a cut off jean jacket and spikes and Iron Maiden patches looking to FUCK. He finds a lady and takes her back behind the bar, lays her down and ends up being surprisingly tender to her, and loving.
That sort of contrast is exactly what Miracles offered the crowd. Standing on stage dressed exactly how I described the dude above, making the audience think it was going to be some seriously heavy cock rock set until the singer took out a harmonica and they started playing this happy folky punk rock that you'd expect from a Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer collaboration. It was FUCKing awesome, and made for a great change of thrust-pace for this porno.
*insert some final useless porn plot here*
When Off With Their Heads hit the stage it was like the final big BANG in this weird ass punk porn. I was expecting these guys to be hella intimidating based on the vocals but instead they looked pleasant and maybe a tad nerdy (I love nerds, not an insult in the slightest). Therefore I envisioned a nerd gang bang at Comic-Con or something along those lines. They played everything I knew and wanted to hear (which means every comic book character you want to see in a porn is in this scene!) and one new song that was as good as I could possibly hope their new shit would be. I'm fucking excited to hear more. Unfortunately I was quite tipsy at this point and just remember singing my little heart out in pure bliss, which is probably exactly how I'd act if I were watching this porn, only by singing I mean touching myself. TMI?
UHHHH this is awkward.
THE END.

I'm Sarah. I belong here: