Worst Band I've Seen in a Long Long Long Time

They're called In My Coma, a name that easily depicts just how awful they are.
They played a FREE show at Horseshoe last night and still couldn't generate enough fans to fill the area in front of the stage.
It's so sad that I almost feel bad for them, almost.
I would feel worse if they weren't obviously trying so hard for something that just isn't happening.
I have 2 main problems with them.
1. The chick.
2. The image.

Let's focus on the image first. When I say 'trying too hard' this is what I'm referring to. In almost every picture of them online they're desperately going for this awful 'lets wear the same thing every show and every photo op so that we look like we're big stars' look that is far too easy to see through. It's clear they think that stardom relies on looks alone, all the while nobody gives a fuck how many fucking vests you have.
This bothers me because if they had spent half as much time working on their actual music - which is almost too reminiscent of rockers like Bush etc in the early 2000's - maybe they'd actually have something. They're tight, but seriously lacking hooks and basically anything that would stick out after their set. I honestly can't remember a single riff or vocal from last night. It's almost as if their music was an afterthought. They try way too hard with the theatrics on stage, the gyrating hips, the above-the-head clapping at non-existent audience, and the 'watch me rip on my guitar but I'm actually not playing anything' moments.

Okay, now the chick. She was the absolute WORST bassist I've ever seen in my life. I don't think she even knows HOW to play bass, like at all. I mean, I took up the bass earlier this year, rented one for about 2 months and have more skills than her even though I haven't touched one since. She only played 2 strings and was so obviously only there as 'eye candy' (which, um, was also a failure, and I say that only as an attack on their obsession with image and not really to insult her... maybe just her way-too-heavy eye makeup). I think an armless, legless, amputee baby could have done a better job with it's toothless mouth than she did. It was so bad my boyfriends father even snickered about it, which is fucking hilarious. It raises the question of WHY ARE YOU IN THE BAND. Clearly it's because they think they need a chick to draw attention to their band and compensate for their lack of talent elsewhere. Well guys, pick a chick who actually knows how to play, or at least has huge tits and ass and a fresh face. Not only could she not play but her backup vocals were off-key and I found her an insult to female musicians everywhere who actually know what they're doing but don't care as much about how they look.
Oh, and what the heck is with the 'LauraDoll' thing... it's lame, drop the doll and be a real person, you're not a rock star yet and until then quit acting like one.