Save a horse, ride a mechanical bull!! (or a cowboy. whatever bucks your fanny)

I don't want to toot my own horn (LIES, I love tooting!) but *we here at MusicSheBlogged are becoming preeetty diverse when it comes to *our reviews.
(*By "we" and "our" I mean.... uh myself and my multiple personalities)
In the past howevermany months I've written about documentaries, biographies, a colouring book... and now I'm about to 'review' a bar/restaurant... a country themed one at that.

The 1990s Coloring Book

It's a lot harder than I thought it would be to review a colouring book!
I've been racking my brain all day for something to write about it, but there really isn't much to say. So I decided I should just start colouring instead.
This one was my favourite (it also required the least amount of hand work)


Born Ruffians is my new boyfriend.

I know Born Ruffians' Birthmarks has been out for a while now but I'm just starting to fall for it thanks to the new video for "Permanent Hesitation".


Slim Shady, You're On.

I'm not going to lie, I haven't followed Eminem's last couple albums too closely... really didn't have much interest to for whatever reason. They could be fucking awesome for all I know, but nothing ever hooked me.
(I did enjoy the album with D12 though.)
But when I saw the title of this new one and the throwback artwork to everyone's favourite Em album, I obviously haaaad to hear it.
Marshall Mathers, Slim Shady, Eminem... whoever the fuck he is, is back (again) and better than he/they've EVER been.
I'm serious.
And shocked.


my emburrassing baked journey through being born gold

This is my journey through Born Gold's I Am An Exit, told as if I'm on Bad Girls Club recounting the incident to the cameramen in those little recap interview things they do, or whatever. 

The Tragic Thrills, fighting my tragic cold.

I don't usually listen to bands as cutesy/poppy as The Tragic Thrills during the week.
Music like this is saved for my cheese-out and sing-loud Friday mixes at work.
Shhhh, don't tell anyone.
Today is an exception, apparently.
I got the email with the album download, clicked on it just for shits and more shits expecting to hate it and delete it immediately, and it ended up being exactly what I needed to pick me up this afternoon.
I'd like to call it 'I feel like shit so I don't want to listen to loud punk rock so I'll listen to this instead' music.

Neon Windbreaker - 'New Sky' EP is like popping a penis cherry!

This new EP from Neon Windbreaker sounds like (what I'd assume) the first time a dude has sex feels like: heaven wrapping itself around the penis like Pogo batter to a wiener -  but to my ears. It's frantic, messy (in a great way), and over way too soon. And after it's all did and done you just lay there, panting, blissfully happy and then ready to go again seconds later.
It's 5 tracks long and only 7 minutes long. That's 5 humps to 7 inches in 'first time' size.

Invasions = Inglourious Basterds vs. Django Unchained starring Clint Eastwood in Twin Peaks - The Soundtrack

I'm not quite sure how they did it, but Toronto's Invasions managed to combine stoner jams with garage-infused surf rock annnnnd gritty, horn-filled country western blues... which, in theory should probably have turned out similar to what milk + orange juice + pop thrown together in a blender would taste like. Instead, this concoction of theirs sounds like something Quentin Tarantino would chase down and lap up like this 'ho' does to Pootie Tang and whatever that white stuff in the bowl is...

KETAMINES R SO HOT AND THEY KNOW IT!

Remember the first intentionally funny episode the X-Files ever did, "Humbug" (Season 2)?
That one with sideshow freaks, an underdeveloped fetus and a Fiji Mermaid...?
Despite the comical undertone it still managed to maintain the creepiness of the X-Files, and it was actually pretty entertaining.
For some reason when I listen to the latest of the Ketamines' 7" series, So Hot!, I am reminded of this episode and can't help but picture all these characters doing a super awkward but hilarious dance to the song.. a slow and choppy shuffle or something robotic. Maybe even with lasers.
Scratch that.
DEFINITELY with lasers!

Islands - Ski Mask

Well. Just as I was about to create the best fucking review of the new Islands album, Ski Mask, all these famous people got together and stole all my ideas. Except in my version it's just me pretending to be a bunch of famous people but saying the exact same things.... 

The Mad Murdocks / Cerebral Scrub? / Continental @ Horseshoe Tavern

Mad About Murdocks
When I walked into the Horseshoe last night I was in a very hazy 'I've-been-smoking-weed-non-stop-all-day' daze that I was sure only ecstasy-infused coffee could snap me out of, and since I didn't have either my plan was to - in the words of DMX - 'stop, drop, shut them down and open up shop' on a bench at the back for the entire show. Oh no, that's how Ruff Ryders roll.



The Queers & The Dwarves

Last night the Dwarves came to Toronto.
The Dwarves AND The Queers. 
On the same stage. 
And they brought The Atom Age, who I've had a huge hard-no for since I interviewed them a few years ago. 

The BEST Toronto band opened for them too, Brutal Youth, but unfortunately I did not make it down there in time to see them. If I didn't have a bum foot I would kick myself. Hard. Unfortunately right now I move at about half the speed I used to and as fast as I tried to get home from work, eat, poop, whatever, by the time I hopped in a cab and got down to the Horseshoe they had JUST left the stage. Despite having seen them a handful of times in the last bunch of months and countless opportunities to see them again, I'm still super fucking bummed to miss one show. When I say they're the BEST band in Toronto, I mean they're like the Jackie Chan of martial arts films, death-defying stunts and all. 


IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

If I were to rewrite Frankenstein and his monster into a wonky music-related, me-focused, silly story for the sake of a review, It's Alive Records would perfectly play the part of Victor, working his mad science shit on my bored-to-death-as-of-late ears by hooking me up to their latest releases that, with one listen, bring me back to life... but instead of searching for a cure to my isolating loneliness through murder, I'm on a mad hunt for more It's Alive releases, with a new found hunger for how each pop punk album on their roster makes me feel more and more... alive?!
IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!


I LIKE PINK WINE (the band and the pretty alcoholic beverage)

Pink Wine (the band)'s new self-titled full length sounds like a delicious pink cock-tail (heh) that combines 1oz of mid-late 70's punky power-pop bands like band The Only Ones or The Nerves with about 3oz of garage punk/bubblegum power pop weird dude Nobunny.
I also keep getting a hint here and a taste there of .... and don't hate me for this .... Hot Hot Heat. This might just be me, or the kind-of-but-not-even-really similar vocal styles, or I'm just drunk from listening to it already. Who knows.
The resulting sound is light, fruity, fun and boozy (obviously!) but at the same time there's also rock'n'roll elements that add to the simplicity of the typical garage punk/power pop formula, like in the track "Can't Get Out" and "Spit On The Ground", which I 'can't get' enough of. Get it? Get out.

Night Birds, ah-ah-ah, fighter of the ... day birds?

Champions of the ... surf?
You're a master of  ... bacardi?
And ..  battleships?
For everyone.
NIGHT BIRDS!
ah-ah-ahhhhhhhh!

"It's times like this I wish I had a penis" - Duckman (Private Dick/Family Man)

I hear ya (duck)man!
I'm 30 seconds into the first track off the new Tight Nuns album and I've already blown my faux-load 30 times.
It totally reminds me of a much faster, more aggressive Dillinger Four...who are one of my favourite bands of all time.
And judging by the way they titled the album, P U N K D E B U R E A U (similar to C I V I L W A R by Dillinger Four) and track #6 "Yousaydrumandbassithinkdeathfromabove1979" (similar to a few songs by D4 with the altogethernessofthewords) this comparison was both acknowledged and maybe even deliberate....
Which puts this album in the running for my favourite album of 2013.
I'm a handful of songs in now and it's just been a consta-gasm so far.. maybe it's a good thing I don't really have a penis or my desk would be mighty messy,  I'd probably get stuck to it just trying to type this review!

Boy Castle in a man's world..

I don't know what it is about Boy Castle but I can't get enough of this EP of theirs.
For some reason I keep being surprised at myself for liking it... something about them, mayhaps the almost-break-downs... is a bit out of my pop-punk element, but BOY do they pull it off.
The vocals and the writing in general = incredible. I can actually feel my heart strings being tugged at with every chorus, like my heart is a dog on a leash who doesn't want to walk because it's so distracted listening to this awesome pop punk album...


Tragic Hearts.... GET STOKED.

I just had the pleasure of previewing the entire Tragic Hearts EP that's coming out soon... and I found it about as flattering as a hippo wearing full body Spanx (which is VERY flattering, just so we're clear) that I was asked to do so.
I'm going to attempt to control my giddiness here so that you don't get TOO too jealous of my good fortune, but it's going to be hard.
Each of the 4 songs on the EP take pop punk perfection to the next level. If they were a man they'd be either Brad Pitt or George Clooney, depending on your tastes.
And for all the lady lovers out there, they sound about as flawless as Kate Upton's tits look.

I SAW A BAND OF ALIENS ON INDEPENDENCE DAY AND LIVED TO WRITE ABOUT IT!

And write about it I will... because I feel like I have to.
Not because I was asked to, no.
Butt because it was just so damn fucking good that I don't think these fingers can function until they tell the five or less people who read this site about how damn fucking good it was.
And clearly I need these phalanges to function in order to go to sleep, wait, what?
Nevermind.
Um.
So tonight I had dinner plans with good friends, great homemade food, new friends, a cute English fella and a big screen TV, and I cut the night short because I just had to catch Plan 37.
Not that I haven't seen them before, butt because I have seen them many times and my alien boner grows stronger every time my ears meet with their binary ridden alienthems (that's alien anthems for those who don't get really shitty word play jokes).
It's almost like that scene in Alien, if you swap pain for pleasure and the chest for my vahghinha... which, according to my previous statement would mean that my vahghinha has a boner, which is just alllll sorts of weird...

Steve Adamyk Band - Monterrey 7" on Hosehead Records July 16th

Well well well, 2013 is turning out to be a preetty good year for punk here in Ontario. Especially for the Steve Adamyk Band, who just released a full length back in February and are about to release a new 4 song 7" titled Monterrey on July 16th, this time on Hosehead Records.

FAIRMOUNTS! FULL LENGTH! Put it in my eaarrrrrrrrrrrrrs!

I've only seen the FAIRMOUNTS play once, POSSIBLY twice though I'm not quite sure.. I have the memory of a drunk goldfish unfortunately.
I do clearly recall seeing them semi-recently at the Bovine, and I was super impressed by the perfect pop punk they pumped out.
-- tongue twister? --
Not that any of this matters because I'm reviewing their debut full-length album right now, but what I'm trying to say is that they were great live the one (maybe two) time(s) I saw them but that wasn't much of an indication of what to expect on CD. Sometimes seeing a band kill it live kinda ruins the experience of listening to their album for the first time because it can't ever measure up to seeing them in person.

NXNE - Episode 2013: Sarah's Final Thought

Another NXNE has come and gone, but this time it's left in slightly less of a blur than other years.
2013 was a year of half sober shows, which is far different than my usual 100% of shows seen whilst drunk.
This was not by choice.
And, unfortunately, it did dampen my experience... but that might have been caused by the reasoning behind my sobriety....which can only be described as a shit show of Sarah luck.
If you can even call it luck....curse is more like it.
Just as I settled down Monday night for my ONE relaxing day of doing nothing except wind down from an awesome weekend of punk shows in Toronto and S.C.E.N.E. Fest..... BAM, the Sarah curse had something else in store for me!
My cat Simon, or as I like to call him 'Slimy' / 'Slimon' / 'Sir Slimington', got really sick and needed to be cabbed all the way uptown to see the emergency vet at 1am. I brought him home because I couldn't afford to keep him overnight or the time to pick him up so far away, but Tuesday morning he was even worse off and I had to emit him to my normal vet for 2 days, and a fucking lot of money.
Not only did it cost me every penny I had to my name, which meant absolutely no drinking for most of NXNE, but his condition also demanded a lot of monitoring and time spent at home during the busiest time of the festival, unfortunately keeping me from traveling to venues too far away certain days...
I was also stuck with my bike as my only option for transportation, and of course it had to rain a bunch during the festival which also kept me stuck close to home.
That said, thank fuck for Lee's Palace and a bunch of good shit happening there.
It almost made up for all my stress, which awkwardly enough had my body cyst'd up like crazy, which ... if you're a) not a girl or b) not a girl who has ever had to experience a cyst... it's quite possibly the WORST pain I've ever felt in my life, and I've broken a ton of bones including my collar bone which was a huge bitch.
Cysts basically feel like there's a war in your hip/stomach... shooting, stabbing, bombing, just pure assassination of an entire race that makes up your insides. Holy hell does it ever suck. At times so bad that you can't move. UGH.
I can't believe I'm talking about this, super emburrrrasssing, but it plays a huge part in my NXNE experience this year.
I look forward to this festival because of the number of bands on the line up each year that I've NEVER heard of before. It's always a great opportunity to experience new music if you're willing to just randomly turn up at venues without any schedule in mind.
That was my plan, until my curse limited what I could see, where I could go and when I could go out.
What a bummer!
Bums aside, I did get to see some really great stuff.
Highlights included the epic FLAG show, The Delinquints comeback, experiencing Ian Blurton's new band Public Animal and finally getting the chance to catch YELLOWTEETH live since missing them at Sappyfest some years back.
So although I didn't get to see nearly as much as I wanted, or discover any of the new awesome bands the festival had to offer, the shows I did see made up for it all. Except for one... but you'll have to read my individual NXNE band reviews for more on that....

Until next year, hasta la vista NXNE!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Cafeine @ Lee's Palace

Well there's no contest when it comes to the WORST BAND (that I saw, or maybe in general even) at this years NXNE.
That shitcake goes to Cafeine, orrr Xavier Cafeine,

He's the cancer, and we're the cure... apparently.
Well I agree with the whole cancer thing... ear cancer.
But really though, cancer is a super serious matter not to be joked about.
Or sung about... jerk.
His outfit, however, is a different story.
'This Killers ripoff band brought to you by Hot Topic'!
All I have to say about his set was:
a) proof white men can't dance
b) I'd rather eat poutine than watch him.
And eat poutine I did.
And by poutine I mean RINGTINE.
You heard me.
And THAT, my friend, was delicious.

My main damie Chris was with me during this Hot Topic delivery truck crash of a set and he described it best, perhaps with some influence from the cheesy ringtine, 'it sounded like somebody took a ripe dump on the stage and hooked a PA system up to it' .

You hear that folks!? A RIPE DUMP.
I think he's being too kind..

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Delinquints @ Bovine

There's nothing like a great fucking punk show in the midst of a semi-mainstream music festival.
Especially when it's featuring an amazing punk band who haven't played in a couple of years as far as I know.
I almost didn't make it down to the Bovine to see Delinquints reunite because of my sick cat and having to work the next day... but my decision to go was probably the best choice I've made in weeks.
The Bovine was packed, and everybody was going crazy for every song.
If I had money I would have been drunk, and if I had been drunk I would have totally moshed.
Even sober I was jonesing to get into the pit.
But I'm a lazy fuck.
So instead I just watched.
And although a close call, I think Delinquints blew YELLOWTEEH right out of the water for best show at NXNE.
They KILLED it.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Public Animal @ Lee's Palace

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
My guitarist god, my musical idol, and all around the coolest dude in life, Ian Blurton, has a new band called Public Animal.
They played their first show EVER during NXNE, and it was by far my favourite North By experience of the entire festival.
I was so excited for this that I almost couldn't contain myself as they were setting up. I was literally jumping up and down like a little kid in line for ice cream with tons upon tons of sprinkles.
And by little kid I mean me now in life.
Their set was everything I had hoped for (even though I had NO idea what to expect) and way fucking more. It was classicrocknrollmetal-riffic, almost Black Sabbath-like, and heavier than an Elephant standing on top of another elephant, surfing on a big blue whale.
See for yourself:
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
All hail Ian Blurton.
GOD.
Guitar god at least.
He played with his freakin' mouth....
COME ON!
Mind = Blown.
Vag = Blown.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE PHOTOS!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Lydia Loveless @ Lee's Palace

Not something I will go out of my way to see again, but a great filler band to keep my attention as I waited impatiently for Ian Blurton's new band to hit the stage.
The drummer looked super stoked to be there and I had old men dancing all around me.
I had never heard of Lydia Loveless until this show.
To be honest the name is kind of boring and didn't jump out at me as something I would want to check out.
It screams 'drab country'.
But NXNE is about experiencing new artists and seeing musicians you normally wouldn't pay to see for the first time.
She/they were playing between a friends band and my idol, Ian Blurton, so I decided to stick it out and see what happened.
I was right about the country, but it was way less drab than I expected.
It was actually pretty rockin'.
With Marty from Supersuckers on guitar, this female-fronted country rock band featuring Weird Al on stand-up bass (kidding, he just had great hair like Weird Al) was almost borderline rockabilly/punkabilly at times.
I'd like to dub it... cuntrock! And I don't mean that in a bad way.
She had a great voice, and the bass player was fucking fantastic to watch handle an instrument about as big to him as his hair was to his head.
Not something I will go out of my way to see again, but a great filler band to keep my attention as I waited impatiently for Ian Blurton's new band to hit the stage. CLICK HERE FOR MORE PHOTOS!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Teenage X @ Lee's Palace

They got added to the line up last minute and they had to compete with Social Distortion at Yonge & Dundas Square for FREE.
But that didn't stop Teenage X from giving it their all!!!
They played to a handful of people as if they were entertaining tens of thousands at the ACC.
This is a band that I could probably see any time here in Toronto, in fact I've booked them in a couple of shows myself, and yet I was still super stoked to go see them playing NXNE.
In all the times I've watched them I've never been bored, never been disappointed, and ALWAYS had my socks rocked right off my feet.
This time was no exception.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: YELLOWTEETH @ The Boat

I had been waiting for the day to come when I could finally see YELLOWTEETH after missing them at Sappyfest last year and having to endure so many conversations about how fucking awesome their performance was for the rest of the festival.

When I found out they were playing NXNE I was about as ecstatic as a young girl who has found a pony under her pillow from the 'Tooth Fairy' instead of a measly buck.
And luckily the pony didn't suffocate before I woke up to find him, no siree nag, my little pony was as healthy as ever and took me on the ride of my life.
All of which is referring to the show YELLOWTEETH put on, if you can't tell.
Honestly one of the best, if not THE best, set I saw at North By.
They rocked out with both cocks AND tits out, and even got down and dirty on the ground in order to rock out even harder.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Reuben and the Dark @ Horseshoe Tavern

The whole harmony-filled, slow, drum-driven indie rock is a phase I haven't touched on lately so I really didn't think Reuben and the Dark would be my type of thing.. especially live.
Quite the contrary, my dear Reuben.
What I witnessed on stage can only be compared to that part in Angels In The Outfield when the angels swoop in to work their magic...

(Skip ahead to 0:35!)
Only in this case there was no train wreck of a team (band) to fix, but just an empty stage that lit up with their presence and lonely instruments that radiated miracles once played.
It truly felt as if I were watching a bunch of angels performing the soundtrack to heaven right before my eyes.
And my favourite part, the stand-up drummer, sounded like he was god of thunder, so powerful he could not sit the whole performance.
COOLBEANSTALK!


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

NXNE 2013: Thomas D'Arcy @ Lee's Palace

Wow.
I've heard the name Thomas D'Arcy all over the place and yet I had no idea that it would be something that would appeal to me.
I'm not sure what he was all about previous to this NXNE show I saw because apparently it was his second with this particular band.
And this band was about 60% of why I loved it.
And 40% of that 60% goes straight to the goofy guitarist.
By golly I sure loved watching him.
The rest of the dudes deserve way more than the 20% I'm giving them here but trust me, I'm only doing it because I'm far too lazy to go more in-depth with math right now.
Captain Keys, the drummer, the bassist... all were fucking fantastic.
But the guitarist just happened to charm the pants right off me when he went on a mad hunt for the tambourine mid song and realized how funny it was as he struggled to open its case while singing backup into the mic at the appropriate times. He finally got it out and used it beautifully, and even managed to hit his guitar solo following that whole procedure.
AMAZEBALLS.
Sorry, I almost forgot that this band is called THOMAS D'ARCY, so I should probably talk about him.
He deserves 40% as well, the set of pipes on him was astounding, and (especially after watching Cafeine) his on stage presence was hypnotizing. This guy was born for the stage.
I'd like to call their music indie-cruise-rock, simply because their keyboardist was wearing a fitting hat for that genre.
However, it was more like a combination of Queens Of The Stone Age, The Knack and Hot Hot Heat, if that makes any sense at all.
Either way, it made my ear holes wet.



CLICK HERE FOR SOME CRAPPY PHOTOS!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.


NXNE 2013: FLAG @ Opera House

Mother Fucking FLAG.
As in, Black Flag's better half now.
Seeing them perform live before my eyes for the first time in my life was bittersweet.
It was a huge dream come true, yes, but for that reason it was also a let down....
I mean.. I wish I had seen them in their prime because, well, now they're kinda partied out.
Keith - who I saw recently with OFF! work his ass off on stage - did not seem to care enough to give it his all this show. I know that regardless of his age he can still rock the fuck out, but this particular night he appeared to see his performance as a job, not a passion.
But I guess who can blame him after all these years.
Dez, however, made up for it whenever he jumped on the mic.
And Chuck, well, Chuck was just the most entertaining dude ever on stage. I fucking love that guy.
All in all it was the show of a lifetime, with all of Black Flag's greatest hits pumped out for the audiences pleasure, and I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Anxiety Attack Recordings Presents: Southern Ontario Summer 2013 Punk Compilation

It seems that thanks to sites such as Bandcamp.com, punk compilations are back in full swing!
Maybe they never left, maybe it was I who stopped paying attention, but as far as I'm concerned there hasn't really been a solid comp since I was in high school.
This year.... 2013.... I am going to dub 'A New Hope for the Return of Compilations STRIKING BACK'... or something like that.
Introducing...:

THIS makes me proud to be an Ontario-an. ?
Such a lovely mix of great punk bands in Ontario... and not just one style either, you've got a variety of poppy to maximum rock and roll, and they all go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong.
Although I've already heard of about 90% of these bands, the chosen tracks make this a collection of the best of the best.
It features all of my favourite local bands like Brutal Youth, School Damage, Plan 37, The Victim Party, Fairmounts, Careers In Science...and I could keep going. There's only one track that I would skip every time in this list. And I won't even tell you who it is, because that makes it way more fun for me. But seriously, 1 out of 26, well that ain't bad.
Not only does it have all my old favs, but I also discovered a few new ones in the 10% I haven't heard of before.
Like Permanent Bastards. I actually have listened to them before but stupidly I completely forgot they existed. Hearing "Bloody Mary" come on just reminded me how fucking good they are, and I haven't stopped listening to them since.
Stuff like this is great for work, it takes away all the pressure to think of who you want to listen to, all you have to do is press play and you've already got a great mix at your fingertips. One that requires no thought or effort on your part.
And I love things that allow me to be lazy!
AND I love Ontario punk rock.
Win, win.

MAY THE COMPILATIONS STAY WITH YOU, ONTARIO.

TRACKLISTING:
1. Black Cat Attack - Phasers Set To Thrill
2. Machine Gun Dolly - That's Who We Are
3. Plan 37 - On The Run
4. The Fairmounts - Devlin McGreggor
5. The Victim Party - Andrew Harris
6. The Class Assassins - The Addiction
7. Teenage X - Yesterday's Makeup
8. Maximum RNR - Attack Panther
9. Brutal Youth - Shortcut Pt2
10. The Lucky Ones - Monday Night At Carlton Heights
11. South End - East End Skids
12. School Damage - Can't Get Off
13. Sinkin' Ships - Running And Jumping
14. Saint Alvia - The Commute
15. Permanent Bastards - Bloody Mary
16. The Penske File - The Valley
17. Summer Of 92 - South Simcoe New Tecumseth Home
18. Born Wrong - Burn a Debt
19. Careers In Science - Locals News
20. Wasted Potential - Is This Show All Ages
21. The Rotten - Punks Dead Redux
22. Sluts On 45 - I Like You (So Lets Party)
23. Bourbon DK - Pride Without Prejudice
24. Skullians - Over The Edge
25. Unbelievers - I Don't Like You
26. Steel Town Spoilers - Wartime



Anxiety Attack Recordings www.anxietyattackrecordings.bandcamp.com www.anxietyattackrecordings.wordpress.com

DEFORESTERS .... A REVIEWester

I saw this band the day I got back from Pouzza Fest and I'm JUST reviewing them now.
HOW RUDE OF ME!
Since it's clearly a little late for a show review I might as well just 'review' the demo they have up while I'm at it.
But first of all, *backtrack* .. if you want to know how good they are live it can be summed up by what I went through the night I saw them...

After a 5 day vacation that included traveling to Pouzza, partying very hard, and taking the uncomfortable train back to Toronto after very little sleep just to nap for less than 30 minutes, shower and then bike my ass down to see yet ANOTHER show...
= WORTH IT.

Fast forward to after their set when it immediately started pouring and storming on me as I biked home, soaking me and giving me my third shower of the day ... and I HATE showers....
= WORTH IT.

You feel me?

Now, as far as the tetrad of songs they have up on their bandcamp...
They are an impressive collection of melodic backwoods punk rock, full of beer soaked, boy-thick singalongs that would make any lumberjack Priest cream his pants.

It's always a bit awkward to review bands that I'm friends with.. but if it's good then it's fucking good and it deserves to be talked about whether we're friends or not.
And this is fucking good!
So good, in fact, that I've been listening to it on repeat for the better part of my afternoon in order to learn all the words so I can shout along the next time I see them live.
Because I'm a nerd like that.
And because each time I listen to it I feel like they're just begging me to sing with them.
Like, reaching their hands out of the speakers towards my throat... not in a I'm-going-to-strangle-you-to-death sort of way, but in a I'm-going-to-strangle-you-with-awesome pleading sort of way!

Check them out:



Stole this from their FACEBOOK - done by Savannah Parent



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Are you brave enough to listen to the new Careers In Science EP, COWARDS?


Holy new Careers In Science!
Talk about finding your niche!
I've been listening to these guys for years now and I have to say... this new EP, Cowards, definitely sounds like they've found Cinderella's foot to slip into the shoe they've been shoe-sitting for so long.
SHOE OF ROCK, that is. Or isn't...... or IS.
They've grown stronger, harder, and even a wee bit crazier.
And it fits. The shoe fits. And it smells AWESOME.
I may have heard the EP live a couple times already, but the beautiful thing about liquor is that you can experience things for the first time many many times over as long as every time you experience you've had enough to drink. And in my case I ALWAYS have enough to drink, so listening to it again right now feels just like I'm falling for the first time... again. Barenaked.
And it actually has gotten me thinking... a lot... about what I'm afraid of...
...
The answer is puppets.
And mascots.
For realz.
I'm totally terrified of that shit.
Pupaphobia is a real bitch.
...
Anyway, just the fact that it got me thinking is a huge deal. I don't really like thinking that much, and I choose to turn off my fears for the most part.
Which I believe makes me more of a coward? To run away from the things you're scared of...
It's actually a really interesting concept to me. Especially for an album.
It reminds me of that animal character in that movie... you know, with the witches, and the midgets, I mean munchkins... and the animal is a coward... what's it called again??? Oh yeah, The Wizard Of Oz!
Taken from the Cowardly Lion Wikipedia...(gosh I love the Interweb):
Since lions are supposed to be "The Kings of Beasts," the Cowardly Lion believes that his fear makes him inadequate. He does not understand that courage means acting in the face of fear, which he does frequently. Only during the aftereffects of the Wizard's gift, when he is under the influence of an unknown liquid substance that the Wizard orders him to drink (perhaps gin) is he not filled with fear. He argues that the courage from the Wizard is only temporary, although he continues to do brave deeds while openly and embarrassedly fearful.
So I guess the moral of the story is that gin = liquid courage.
Something I was already well aware of....
Half the reason I drink is so I can grow some balls and network with people, because I'm a shy awkward fuck in real life.
But also, the REAL moral of the story is that we're all scared of something, but life means facing your fears and living in spite of them.
I actually talked to the band about all this when I interviewed them at Pouzza... so check that out, you might learn something!
AND check out the new EP on June 4th. Unless you're.... scared!?


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?

HAPPY FRIDAY MORNING!
 Welcome to my sappy sad sack update that I feel I have to write as I sit here watching every other media source pump out review after review and interview after interview from POUZZAFEST.
The Sarah Curse struck again, of course.
That's all I'm going to say for now because there's still a good chance *hopefully* that it will all work out, but things are at a stand still until I have time this weekend.
Apologies to both the Deforesters and Careers In Science for not writing your reviews in the meantime, but The Sarah Curse has me about as stressed as a chicken with an egg stuck in its butt, or wherever eggs come from.
And finding the motivation right now is super hard. I'm at the point where I ALMOST considered just giving up, but I'm not a quitter, except for that time I quit gymnastics, soccer, guitar lessons, baseball... well I didn't really QUIT baseball, I retired after 8 years of playing when we finally won A Champs.
Is that retiring or just quitting on a high note?
Whatever. I'm just going to listen to this song over and over with everything on my body crossed that I can possibly cross, including my tits, and hope to fuck everything works out.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Class Assassins! Not to be confused with The ASS ASSASSINS!

The apple of the Toronto punk scene's eye, The Class Assassins, have just released this wacky new single that isn't really a single at all, but a double, as in 2 songs, that together make up a single.
It defies all mathematical logic, but sounds really good.
Part 1 is called "The Addiction", and part 2 "The Solution", and both are pretty politically driven so you should probably pay close attention to the lyrics. Luckily, "The Addiction" is only 4 minutes long while "The Solution" is 9 crazy minutes, which leads me to believe that there's a really good chance at kicking the addictions' ASS.
ASSASSIN STYLE.

Speaking of Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, I have to say it ties in nicely with this/these? single(s). The songs are total 'brotherhood' anthem types, with tons of singalong parts and a bottom line that the singer sums up quite nicely here, "We’re the solution if we all stand together and fight for what’s right. Make your voice be heard!”.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Review That Almost Never Was!

I was just about to close my MSB inbox and not open it again until after Pouzza. I have an insane amount of interviews to write before the festival and barely any time to do them, so I decided to ignore everything and everything until like, June, at least. But then I saw an email from a band called Crooked Jacks and I immediately pictured Jack Bauer finally turning to the dark side, like along with Vader, and turning on his country and in turn becoming the terrorist he fought so honourably against for so many seasons. That dumb image in my head, and because the dude in the email complimented my writing style, made me decide to talk about this one last album before I go MIA.
Okay, that and because the guy basically described his band in the way that I would probably have described it anyway in the email, therefore doing like 90% of my work for me because we all know that these reviews include ONE line actually talking about the album, and everything else is just dumb shit like the whole Jack Bauer thing above, or food talk, or sex talk.
Anyway, here's what HE said about it:
We are a fucky mix of punk and country punk, best described as the bastard child of Mike Ness and Ben Weasel, with a pinch of Broadways thrown in for good measure.
AND HE'S BANG ON.
So I don't have to do shit, other than agree!
I kid.
I'll at least throw in an obscure reference.
They remind me of that movie Dudes, when Jon Cryer's character and his friend Biscuit have to exchange their punk clothes for country outfits so that they don't stick out as they hunt down the douchebags who killed Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Now compare:
AMIRIGHT!?
Nah, probably not. But whatever. All I'm trying to say here is that I can definitely hear the punk + country blend when I listen to Crooked Jacks, and it sounds about as badass as those DUDES (heh) look. Or are supposed to look, back in the day.
I honestly fucking love it.
This album will probably be on repeat for the rest of the day.
The speed, the vocals, the everything... so good it makes my ears drool. If I were to rate how much I love it on a scale of flaccid to boner I'd say I'm hard enough that you could use my pretend cock as a bat in the Major Leagues to hit balls all over parks everywhurrr.

And I've just been informed that these guys will be playing Pouzza, AND since he used a Trailer Park Boys reference while informing me of this I've decided I will be interviewing the shit out of them there. So stay tuned for that.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Dudes and Dudettes, major-league butt-kicking is back in town.

THE TURTLES ARE BACK.
And I am not talking about the latest TV show, although I actually do find it quite enjoyable, in a 'I'll-take-what-I-can-get-and-it-makes-me-giggle-sometimes' sort of way.
THIS TIME the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are taking on Shredder in the form of a fucking awesome punk rock album.
Annnd the 12 year old boy in me just got his first wet dream. Humminah, humminah.
Between my serious hard on for the genre and my passion for anything TMNT, The BCASA's album Fuck You Shredder automatically tugs on my heart-boner strings after just a glance at each Turtle related track title.
Though I've heard and seen The BCASA before and therefore know I love them, I admit I was slightly nervous as I hit play that the music itself would not measure up to the legend that is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
But, of course, The BCASA killed it, immediately tugging away on my ear-boner strings to complete the boner marionette.
It's awesome.
It's bodacious.
It's bitchin'.
It's gnarly.
It's radical.
It's totally tubular, dude.
It's wicked.
It's hellacious.
You could even say it's one SHELL of an album.
Their garage-punk (or should I say SEWER-PUNK) sound actually seems to embrace the qualities of each Turtle:
It has Leo's strength
Raphael's tough badass'ery
Donatello's wit and brilliance
and of course, probably the most similarities to Michaelangelo's fun, party attitude.
I really want to tell you more about each song because they tell many a turtle'y story, but I don't want to give too much away. The album feels exactly like the comic/movie/TV series, and you need to experience the plot of each song on your own.
That said, buy the damn thing when it comes out on June 18th!
http://www.thebcasa.com/
Nerd punk is the new skate punk.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Real life is a shit sandwich and every day you gotta take another bite.

But at least you can douse that sandwich in hot sauce and mayonnaise to add some succulency to the shit.
Today, the hot sauce I speak of is the band Foxygen, and the mayo is their album Take the Kids Off Broadway (Breakfast Horse). Each track off the album is a thick slice of roast mother fucking beef, and I guarantee you if you throw on this album first thing this Friday morning life won't even taste like a rotten bag of hangover poop anymore. You'll forget the fact that you're too broke to go to a birthday party at Yuk Yuks with all your friends on a Friday night and will end up watching a really crappy downloaded version of the new Evil Dead at home instead.
Pshaw. It's all good in the hood when you are listening to Foxygen.
What I love the most about this psychedelic rock 'n' roll band is that they don't just SOUND like the Rolling Stones or any other 60's/70's legendary band of the sort, but they sound like they were literally BIRTHED by them, out of the butts of their guitars and drums, like a chicken laying it's eggs (I'm sure eggs don't come out of a chickens butt, right? but for the sake of this sentence they do).. making them blood relatives. Or something. Seriously though they sound like they belong in that era, and the more I think about it / hear it, the more I believe that they are actually time travelers, somehow. They found the warp whistle. They've skipped ahead to level 2000.
I'm fucking on to them.
Come have your mind blown at their live show in Toronto next Thursday. EVENT HERE.

OR just listen to them here:


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Welcome to another edition of FOODSHEBLOGGED

I should re-write that Korn song "A.D.I.D.A.S." so that it's "A.D.I.D.A.F." ... all day I dream about FOOD.
Not fucking. Well, actually yeah fucking. So either way works.
Seriously. I'm such a fucking fatty. I can barely even hear the Buddy Black album that I'm trying to review over my insatiable craving for DUFF'S WINGS.

Holy fuckamoly.
My credit card is going to take a pound(of wings)ing tonight that's for sure. If there's enough on it. hashtagBrokeAssBroke.
Um, right, review.
See here's the thing about reviewing somebody you know and like and fully support. It can get about as messy as wings, and I always end up with sauce all over my face.
Whatever that means.
Case in point: the album Adversary Avenue by Buddy Black.
Don't get me wrong, in no way shape or form am I saying I dislike it. If it were a Facebook status I'd thumbs up the shit out of it, more than once if I could. I'd unlike it JUST so I could like it again.
But I'm used to seeing Buddy live. And I reeeeally like seeing Buddy live. And listening to Buddy live. He is such a cool cat that it adds so much to his music and turns his performance from just a dude on stage with a guitar singing songs to something way more special than that.
The problem with the album is you can't fully experience Buddy while listening to it.
Maybe my ears are just being jerks because I'm hungover and hungry, but I just can't seem to get as into the songs on CD.
And I love them live SO MUCH.
I'm not sure if it's something to do with the recording itself, but the first few songs definitely pale in comparison to hearing them at a show.
It took me until track 5 before the album really started to catch my attention.
From there on I got into it, toe-tappin' all over the damn place to his Pogues meets Bright Eyes fucked up fusion of celtic folky almost-punk-but-not-quite-punk rock, loving his crazy unique worked-up-Cookie Monster sounding vocals.
ALAS, it failed to live up to my expectations simply because Buddy sets that bar way too high when he's on stage.
It did, however, make me very excited to go see him again.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

"This next one is a dick boiler" - The Satans

I wrote this review in my head on my way home from the Bovine, between comparing my bike ride to Mario Kart (I will never again in my life share that link with anybody, it's the worst of my worst) and coming to the realization that I'm a robot.

I went with no intention of reviewing the show but I just couldn't help myself. Seriously, I am a robot.
To be fair though, The Satans actually had me enjoying a ROCKABILLY set, and I am far from a fan of the genre on a normal basis, so that in itself demanded some blog attention.
I guess they were more psychobilly than rockabilly, or maybe JUST psycho. The psycho'er the better'er, though, and on a scale of flaccid to boner my metaphorical dick grew three sizes in the span of one set, and by the end had blown its load all over the Bovine floor, which just ended up looking like snow.
It was fucking fierce. And I don't mean that in the 'Project Runway' kind of way, I mean 'fierce' like it's supposed to be meant:
Adjective: Having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness.
Showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity.
Synonyms:
ferocious - violent - savage - furious - wild - truculent
I had my heart set on comparing the show to Cannibal Holocaust, but in typical Sarah fashion I drank too much and by the time I got home I had completely forgotten WHY I was going to compare the two. It can't be because of the creepy makeup The Satans sport, because they didn't have makeup in the movie... It can't be because of the singer wearing a cape, because Cannibal Holocaust ain't no Batman (unfortunately)... It can't be because the guitarist was wearing a dress... because I don't think they wear much of anything in the movie... maybe it was the way he was awesomely accosting the audience as they walked in the door, propelling himself through the crowd and then doubling back to the stage like he was chained up and couldn't actually reach anybody in order to eat them... like that thing in Super Mario...
Orrrr maybe it was just because the band brutally murdered my eardrums, and totally raped my distaste for that sort of music, giving me Stockholm syndrome so that in the end I was actually in love with them.
Who the fuck knows why I wanted to compare the two. Only past soberer Sarah does I guess, and she's dead.

I'm Sarah. Live fast, diarrhea.

XCHRISTXCOREX XPARTXTWOX by not me!

SO when I attempted to review CHRISTcore I stopped watching it not even half way in because a) I was bored to bits, b) I could not fucking care any less about what these Christian kids are doing at their dumb shows and I don't feel the need to watch a documentary to understand it, c) I'm sick of the whole GOD issue buggin' everybody out.. I was never raised to believe in god, aside from a short stint in Sunday School because my parents wanted to at least let us be open to that shit, but one day I was blowing bubbles in my chocolate milk and accidentally got it all over myself, the floor, and the kid sitting in front of me and got in huge trouble for it... needless to say we never went back and I still love chocolate milk and hate churches. And d) I was really tired of listening to the shitty music the bands featured on it were playing, all I wanted to do was review how bad they were because hey, I review music not documentaries. Listening to that crap and watching kids floor punch actually pains me. But, my non-review review did bring up the whole GOD + PUNK debate and although I'm pretty 'whatever' on the issue (as in whatever other people choose to do is their business, as long as I don't have to fucking go to one of those terrible shows I don't fucking care... *cough*something a certain type of these bible huggers should realize #LGBTPRIDE *uncough*) I really wanted to hear what somebody who is passionate about the issue had to say. The dude who made the documentary has actively been against god in the punk scene, and I felt it would be cool to get somebody with a similar perspective to watch the FULL documentary and review it for real. I knew my old Cobourg pal Kyle would be the best person to do it, so here's what he had to say:

Jesus' middle initial does not stand for hardcore. RAMBO said that and Justin Ludwig has affirmed that with his documentary ChristCORE. A look into the lives and travels of two Christian hardcore bands, Messengers and Sleeping Giant, this documentary is an atheist’s attempt to understand how Christians can fuse a genre of music that has been overtly anti-Christian since it’s beginnings into a vessel for them to preach. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be for me after Sarah told me how far she got but I thought I’d stick it out to see if I could make heads or tails of their perversion of punk and hardcore. The movie starts off with Sleeping Giants ranting about the persecuted church, which confused me because when I think of Christianity it is usually them persecuting marginalized people. Maybe the fact that abortion is legal and homosexuality is becoming more widely accepted is persecution, in which case fuck them. From there we learn about the director and how he grew up Catholic and as he discovered punk music in his teens he turned away from god, which is something I could connect with growing up in a house full of Catholics myself. Another person that punk has saved from the clutches of conformity and submission, so far I’m into it. From there we meet Messengers, a Christian hardcore band in the vein of all those other generic hardcore bands, from Plano Texas. We are introduced to the singer Chad who giggles about how they were mostly homeschooled and how their drummer’s dad finds the music demonic and all that stupid ignorant shit. As we meet the band they really do have the na├»ve, almost endearing behaviors, of the Christian homeschooled kids my mom’s friend’s all had; which is kind of sad because they’re a bunch of teenagers who appear more like 8 year olds then 18 year olds, but maybe I’m just old and jaded. Kids with stable homes, loving if not overprotective parents, and comfortable lives seemed weird for me as a punk. It’s not the normal thing you’d expect from a culture that is for misfits, the kids who have no stability, and the people who had no homes to go to. We see a shot of them praying over their van asking god to “keep our engine running sound, to keep our wheels running great,” which isn’t hurting anybody but COME ON. When the guitarist and singer’s brother Chance starts talking about how he was “addicted to coke, e and weed” before he found Jesus I started to get antsy. This type of cringe-worthy stuff made me so uncomfortable I actually considered throwing away my three months of sobriety just to make it stop. I can’t stand people who “find Jesus” when they get sober, to me it just seems like replacing one crutch with another, but once again I am adamantly opposed to patriarchal, sexist, homophobic religions and maybe that has clouded my ability to enjoy someone’s sobriety when they have found god. So basically they start driving from Texas to California on their first mini-tour to play Facedown Fest, they talk about how they don’t think the “worldly economy” will affect Christians because god will take care of them, how Jesus wouldn’t have been in churches he would have been at hardcore shows, other banal shit. They play shows for kids who mosh really poorly, even by hardcore mosh standards, and they finally make it to Pamona to play Facedown Fest. Yay, Jesus is good, the lord has delivered them to play tired hardcore for a bunch of sheltered Christians nerds. One of the funnier scenes happens here where two dudes pray over the director outside Facedown Fest and they are just rambling over one another about god and holy spirits and shit, pretty good for some comic relied when I was about to stick my head in a bucket of scorpions to ease the pain. Also I’m not sure what it is about Christians but they seem to be the sweatiest musicians, either they have glandular problems or they douse themselves in holy water to sprinkle from their hair over the audience, either way PUDDLES… EVERYWHERE. Then we are off to meet Sleeping Giants who we meet in a church where they are about to play some sweet, brutal chords for people of all ages. Seeing middle-aged people writhing about, grooving to this music for the lord, it’s hard not to picture one of those shitty white people dance parties where everyone has done the same shitty coke and nobody has any rhythm. After that they put hands on each other and pray and stuff, and people are smiling and I almost don’t hate them until I remember they likely consider my sexuality an abomination and it’s right back to being disgusted with their sad, mass-delusions of god. Then we find out Sleeping Giants runs some ministry somewhere where they have punk and hardcore kids go to pray and listen to shitty acoustic worship songs. It made me feel alright though cause if I ever run out of things to write songs about I can strum a G chord for a whole song and repeat “God is good” and still have a fan base. Sleeping Giants’ schtick is that they do faith healing for people, which is pretty fucking funny, cause you can’t prove it works or not cause if you don’t feel better it’s just god’s will that you suffer in pain. I can see how it would work, understanding the placebo effect and all, but it’s still hard not to crack up as a bunch of grown men think touching someone’s afflicted area while praying will actually cure a disease or chronic pain. More faith healing, more faith healing, cameraman is hit by a car in Baltimore so more faith healing. Cut back to Messengers getting free Chick-Fil-A cause apparently they have a deal to give touring Christian bands free food, so touring bands who aren’t vegan if you’re ever hungry in the states pretend to be Christian at Chick-Fil-A and get yourself some free noms. (At least I took one thing from this documentary I can share with my friends and strangers, so not a total waste) Oh ya, did I mention Messengers are on their way to Cornerstone to play some music? Well they are, so ya, Cornerstone is fucking hilarious. The last fest I went to was in a field too, but it was full of crusties, many of whom were nude, and dogs with dreads, fleas and nooses for collars, so to see clean cut people all hanging out what looks like a sober version of Woodstock was kind of depressing. At least if they are right and those who don’t “Walk with the lord will go to hell” then I won’t have to spend eternity with these nerds, so that’s a plus. Some baptisms, baptisms, faith healing, baptisms, faith healing, baptisms/faith healings, shitty music, faith healings, that’s basically Cornerstone. So ya, by this point I was ready to cut my ears off and gouge out my eyes but it was over. The director ends with a statement about how Christian hardcore may be a scene built on love and respect but it’s also totally built on an illusion so he isn’t into it. I too did not have a change of heart and I still feel like patriarchal religions that demand that one unquestionably submits to authority has no place in punk or hardcore, but I guess I can just as easily not go to shows with these types of bands on the bill. To conclude, “We don’t mosh in your church, so don’t pray in our pit.”

XChristCOREX : XGODX + XHARDCOREX = XCHRISTXCOREX

Ok. So, ChristCORE is a documentary about Christian hardcore kids who have serious worship sessions at shows and like, these bands basically preach to them through their songs?
To me, it just sounds like an episode of South Park.

I just can't take it seriously at all.
The intro shows all these kids in the audience of some really shitty sounding hardcore band, with their arms raised above their heads all straight edge like. I can honestly say I have never witnessed anything like that, so I'm a bit intrigued by it at first.
The doc is made by this dude named Justin who grew up on bands like AFI, SNFU, and Propagandhi. He had a super strict, shitty religious upbringing, is now an atheist and has played in many actively atheist hardcore bands. That said, it's hard to tell if he's coming from an anthropological curiosity or just wants to make them look shitty. He openly admits to being devastated when he realized that the Christian scene existed in hardcore.
He doesn't come off as a dick when he's talking to the kids either in the bands or going to the shows.. and asks pretty open, honest questions. One kid - who was so short that they had to film from basically the ground in order to make him look like somebody you would want to take seriously, which I laughed really hard at because I'm a shitty person - describes the scene as if it's their church service. Blah blah blah they don't fit in going to old people church, so this is the way they worship.
Shrug?
It makes sense. To each their own, right? Another kid talks about how he's not opposed to gay marriage, and that everybody deserves to make their own decisions in life despite what he believes, and another kid draws attention to his badass scar before saying 'I think it's from a cat!", soooo like, whatever. I'm quickly losing interest in the subject at hand. I usually love watching documentaries about people completely different from me in one way or another.. the world a hundred years ago or like, to be honest anything serial killer related (I'm not a psycho I promise!), but like this is just about fuckin' hardcore kids who believe in God and use music as their outlet for it. The world has so much more fucked up shit happening in it that needs to be drawn attention to, exposed, fixed... I'm not concerned with what these kids do for fun. Not if the message they're sending out isn't hurting anybody.
What I AM concerned about, however, is WHY THEY ARE WORSHIPING / PASSING ALONG THE MESSAGE OF GOD THROUGH SUCH TERRIBLE TERRIBLE MUSIC!!!????!?!?!?!?!
Doesn't God have ears?
What if God was one of us? Just a Ramones fan like one of us? Just a crusty punk who can't afford the bus, trying to make his way home?

Thank you and goodnight.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Farler's Fury at Bovine, not to be confused with Beauvine. Whatever that means?

For the longest time I thought this bands name was Farley's Fury, and I just kept picturing this skit in my head of Chris Farley turning into Fury, the deadly cyboite from Marvel (enemy of Captain Britain; X-Men) and just going bananas, with this album playing in the background as he frantically starts destroying the set of SNL.
ALAS, it's actually Farler's Fury soooo yeah. Nevermind.
FARLER'S Fury played last night for fuckin' free at the Bovine in Toronto, and I've never felt so close to my Irish heritage in that venue as I did drinking cheap ass PBR and watching the bagpipes.
I was expecting a way more obnoxiously Celtic vibe from these guys but they turned out to be just a punk band with 'pipes, which I actually liked a lot more. It sounded a bit like Bad Religion kicked out Greg Gaffin, replaced his political vocal ass with Al Barr, and then recruited Gord Taylor from The Real McKenzies to add bagpipes and give the sound a bit more UMPH.
I liked it.
I really liked watching the pipe-blower... bag-blower... bag-blaster... pipe-puffer... um... sorry lame-d out there, you get the idea, I really liked the way he ripped on the pipe... bag... like he was starring in the latest Fast And The Furious movie.
AMAZEBALLS.
I leave you with a site full of TERRIBLE bagpipe jokes, including this one:
Q: What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.

NOW, can we talk about breakfast poutine for a second?
WHY ISN'T THIS A THING!?!?!?!? COME THE FUCK ON TORONTO.
I have a serious craving for a cheesy, bacon-y, gravy-y, egg-y heap of fries that needs some serious satisfying.
Am I going to have to do this myself?


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.


PS. Nothing to do with this review, but if you're looking for something to listen to at work today...and you work on a computer like me:


Fuck yeah, YouTube.

And now I got diarrhea, too drunk to fuck !

I don't actually have diarrhea, and luckily I did not have it the night in question.
I was, however, too drunk.
Too drunk to properly review the show.
Way too drunk.
I really hope my parents aren't reading all these 'too drunk to do my job' reviews...
It was Friday night, and I had to drink off a million body aches from a run in with a car earlier in the day, so, like, totally understandable that I got so wasted, right?
Considering the first band of the night, School Damage, sing songs about wanting to get wasted I think I was doing a good job of getting into the spirit of things.
DON'T JUDGE ME!
Of course I only remember bits and pieces of their set, and I'm really trying hard not to compare it to some sexual odyssey like I normally do because apparently that weirds people out, buuuut it's turning out to be more of a challenge than I expected. Maybe I have a one track mind (and by maybe I mean obviously), but the band is also to blame with their deep punk rock stances, hard as fuck drumming, and just all around boner-bait punk rock.
It's almost as if they're using the sound waves to inject the audience with mass amounts of Viagra that stimulates your entire body via your ears.
Smart guys, reeeeal smart.
Brutal Youth were up next and although I was definitely too drunk to remember anything specific about this set, I do remember how fucking grade AAA beef it was, and how I walked out of the pit at the end covered in beer and loving every drop of it, completely overwhelmed with how awesome they were. I pretty much felt the same way I did when I finally figured out how to beat the Chocolate Island 3 level in Super Mario, flying high with Blue Yoshi and winning three 1-up's in the process. Chocolate Fortress, what up! I totally suck for not being able to say more about the show. Clearly I'm an alcoholic.

I also wish I could remember seeing !Attention! but I honestly have no recollection of them on stage whatsoever.
I'm such a failure!!
If I make it to the Crime In Stereo/Such Gold/!Attention! show coming up at Sneaks I'll totally make it up to you guys with a full set review!

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

THE VICTIM PARTY / JUNIOR BATTLES / BROADWAY CALLS at Sneaky Dee's

SO I've decided that Tabitha from The Victim Party is my all time favourite female singer. Not just in the punk scene but in every damn scene. Not only is her voice the tits, but her on stage presence is excellent even when she's not singing her parts.
LOVE HER!
The Victim Party opened the show on Monday night at Sneaky Dee's, playing before Junior Battles and Broadway Calls. It doesn't seem to matter where they are in a line up because they kill it so hard every time that it lasts for the entire show, and none of the other bands can ever compete with their set.
Not even close.
They drill happiness into your glory ear holes as if they're Reno from The Driller Killer, and the audience is a bunch of bums, and their music is the drill.
Don't get it? Don't worry.

I was tapping and shaking my leg along to each song so excitedly that my muscles actually started to seize up.
Crazy.
Their new bassist, Matt Woo, fits in with the band so well that you almost don't notice any change at all... until he starts rocking the fuck out and you're like DAMN, that new bassist is A-WOOO-SOME!
Honestly, these guys could have been the only band on the bill that night and I would have left completely satisfied, like a lonely man who has just spent all his money at a brothel.

Junior Battles played next, and maybe because they had to follow The Victim Party, or because I've over-listened to them, orrrr because they didn't play any new material that I noticed but... and I'm actually really sorry to say this because they're wicked cool dudes (if you don't believe me check out an interview I did with them a while back HERE...includes fart talk!) and I've always spoken highly of their music......but I WAS BORED. Again, I feel shitty saying that, but I can't lie. I mean, they played well and had fucking hilarious banter that was entertaining, but the music itself... meh. What I paid more attention to was the number of people wearing FAKE (or barely prescription'd) black rimmed glasses in front of me. As a real glasses wearer I'm insulted by this. And they don't even look cool, by the way.

And then came Broadway Calls, and in typical Sarah fashion I was totally distracted by my stomach for their entire set. Maybe it was because of the TMNT shirt I was wearing but I couldn't get visions of yummy yummy pizza out of my freakin' head! It actually became a war between my ears and my tummy. For about 95% of the set my ears won, or rather Broadway Calls won because they were fucking awesome (although still not nearly as good as The Victim Party!) but I did end up fighting my way out of the venue through the sea of plaid shirts a bit early and biking the shit out of the 3 blocks to Pizzaville. The notes I took during this set were ALL ABOUT FOOD. And how much I wanted it. Way to fuck up the review past self fatty. Fack! Trust me though, I may not have given you any proof whatsoever in this dumb blurb here, but the band killed it.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

HOLY SHITSNACKS!!!..... A Pissed Jeans Review.

Well SHIT. I totally forgot I was supposed to review the Pissed Jeans show at Lee's Palace last night and got SO FUCKING PISSED (Jeans) DRUNK.
Mixing Caesars + whiskey + beer + whiskey + vodka + more whiskey is NOT the best ideer.
My head hurts.
I'm actually shocked that I made it to work in one piece today on my bike.
No ticky, no washy?
As drunk as I was/still am, it's impossible to forget just how fucking awesome the show was.
My eardrums felt like they had been pounded in the balls by the Toxic Avenger.
SERIOUSLY.
And by felt I mean they still feel that way.
The band kicked as much figurative ass as Melvin did literally after he was transformed into a mutant super hero.

I know I should stop comparing the show to The Toxic Avenger, but I just can't. I'm sorry.
When you see the band offstage they seem like such normal, non-threatening dudes, but as soon as they get up there with their instruments in hand they morph into this terrifyingly awesome mess of ball-busting crusaders, kicking the living shit (since when does shit live?) out of each and every note they play like it's those health club jerks who made fun of them.
So what if some (most) of the time I was distracted by the huge hole in the crotch of the singers pants and trying to catch a glimpse of his dong (hey, what can I say, I'm a real lady), it didn't take away from the fact that they murdered their set as if it had tried to rape a sexy blind girl and shot her dog.
Although they didn't get as nuts as they did the last time I saw them they still put on a fucking amazing show. And that's not just the liquor talking.

BEST BAND EVER.

I'm Sarah, I do what I want.

And Then Came Cancer.

Fuck my butt, I totally forgot to review The High Hats album!
Don't really fuck my butt though please.
The new record is called And Then Came Cancer, and I bet this is the only time getting cancer is a good thing. Unless you have some sort of cancer fetish, or like.. you're a pre-op transsexual who gets breast cancer and survives but loses both boobs because of the cancer, and you were going to get rid of your boobs anyway but the cancer just made it easier? Actually, that's dumb. It'd totally be easier to just get rid of the tits without dealing with the whole cancer thing. So unless you have some sick cancer fetish, this is the ONLY time you can celebrate cancer.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yeah so The High Hats fucking rule.
With impressive vocal harmonies and surf-vibe similar to that of the Beach Boys on top of perfectly structured pop-punk reminiscent of the Ramones one might imagine The High Hats to be the result of Brian Wilson sucking off Johnny Ramone.
And the only 'one' person who imagined that is me, clearly.
Whatever, listen to it here:


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

I'm Pooped. My Shitastic CMW Wrap Up Piece... of Poop.

Oh Canadian Music Week... what to say about Canadian Music Week...
First off I am super thankful to Dan Burke for hooking me up with my very own showcase, not that anybody took their mouths off each others dicks long enough to notice it. But whatever, I didn't really expect that to happen, the point was to book bands that I actually like and think deserve an attempt at exposure. And it was a killer fucking show. Huge thanks to ATTAGIRL, BOATS!, KETAMINES and THE WIDES for making mama MusicSheBlogged so proud.
I didn't sign up for a media pass or any of that shit this year because I really didn't care about covering the whole fest, but since I got a wristband anyway I wanted to make the most out of it and talk a bit about some of the good things I saw:

Highlights:
Blessed Feathers at the Drake.. which nobody showed up to. All you somebodies who were elsewhere, you suck! These guys rule, I have loved them since they sent me their album to be reviewed a while back and my heart boner grew even harder after seeing them for the first time here, even though they didn't play a single song that I knew.

Careers In Science at Global Village Backpackers or whatever the fuck that place is called, rocking my ear cocks like always, but this time was special because they previewed their new record in full for us. So what if I ended up deaf for 2 days after seeing them.

Brews Willis at Sneaky Dee's . Unfortunately this was after Careers destroyed my hearing, sooooo I probably didn't experience this to the fullest. The fact that I even bothered to go watch them at 2am after an open bar party the night before (I think I'm immune to whiskey now) I think says a lot about how worth it they were.


What's funny is that the 2 best shows of the weekend were 2 NON CMW shows. In my opinion anyway.
1. Boats!, School Damage, Tight Nuns and The Leslie Spits at the 460... even though I missed half this show it was still the best line up.  And the part I saw was ultimately the best part of my CMW.

2. the Teenanger, Boats! (see a trend here?), Steve Adamyk Band, First Base, Sonic Avenues, Ultimatemost High, Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs, Mystics show at Crawford on Sunday. Again, I couldn't stay the whole show because I'm swamped with work (including an anti-bullying campaign which I will get into more later) but still, best line up ever.


Hasta la vista CMW! 



The "OH MY GOD IT'S ALMOST CMW" Rush To Catch Up On Reviews Review!

Bands who send me their shit to review must really hate me sometimes. First it takes me like a month to get to it, and when I finally do it's usually in a rush to catch up on everything before something big happens demanding WAY more attention from me than I give to these poor bands.
Between preparing my CMW SHOWCASE + preparing a HUGE SURPRISE CMW PROJECT *evil laugh* + my real job (no, MusicSheBlogged is not my real job) + my blossoming social life = I have barely had a chance to do anything site-wise. Alas, this will be another case of single paragraph reviews all piled together in one post in order for me to catch up.



Airliner Blues Band
I could tell these guys were old school when they sent me a link to Myspace to hear their music. What I didn't anticipate is just how old school they would be. They blend blues and southern rock together in a classic shake fit for past heroes of the genre like CCR, The Allman Bro's, Lynyrd Skynyrd and so on. A new, old sound. Definitely worth a listen.

Monks of Mellonwah
A progressive indie rock band from Sydney who are about to release an experimental EP featuring three parts to one piece of work called "Sky and the Dark Night". The first part is just the intro but it's got this intense build up that makes it worth taking up an entire part on it's own before any lyrics even come in. And boy, when they do come in during the second part along with the gripping guitar solo it's all downhill into the Danger Zone of heavy Incubus-like rock outs from there. But then the third part cuts in and all of a sudden you've got this sudden electro-vibe to it that dances the song to an end. Totally weird, but totally cool at the same time. Think Porcupine Tree. Listen to it in full below:


The Highest Order
OK.
This band is fucking awesome.
They seriously deserve WAY more than a paragraph (not that the other 2 don't as well) because it's hard to fit just how awesome they are into just a few words.
They're pretty much a spin-off of One Hundred Dollars, and definitely just as good.
There's a lot of different pieces that make up their dark, prophetic puzzle (of sound) including psychedelics, blues, country twang, roots rock, classic rock and a helluvalotta feeling. When I listen to the album I picture the ghost of some country great stuck in purgatory and haunting Toronto, singing these songs. Said ghost is probably a huge fan of Gordon Lightfoot, The Byrds (and so on)... and Murder By Death.
I really wish I had time to write more about these guys.



I'm Sarah. I do what I want.