"Trey Anastasio, eat your heart out!" - BAD RELIGION

On my popular-with-the-dudez scale of FLACCID to BONER, the Bad Religion show last night at the Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto was right up there in the Bone Zone, in it's hardest possible form.

I don't mean to brag to those who were unable to get in *cough*yesIdo*cough* but their performance was one of those epic ones that you think about for the rest of your life, and remember every second of no matter how FUCKING BAKED YOU WERE.
*sidenote* dear dude with huge beard who tried to approach me at one point that I awkwardly avoided... THIS IS WHY, I'm sorry! *end of sidenote*
The set started after some of the worst pop music pumped through the venue, ending with "My Heart Will Go On" or some other Celine Dion song before the band hit the stage. A hilarious way to open such a show.
They announced right away that history was being made because this was only the second time they have EVER played their new album True North live.
I don't care about that stuff at all, but since the new album sounds so damn good it was actually kind of cool to be part of the first Toronto crowd to hear it.
The new tracks held their ground against their extensive and amazing catalogue, packing as much of a punch as you'd expect from BR 20+ years ago. The guys may be old farts by now but they can still fart HARD, FAST and CLEAN!
Even hearing live and loud the lyrics to "Robin Hood In Reverse" I just couldn't control my laughter at the 'here's the church, there's the steeple' part and I was disappointed that I didn't see a bunch of hands shoot up mockingly gesturing that kids rhyme as he sung it. I am fucking short as hell and couldn't see much though, so maybe somebody somewhere did it.
Not being able to see a damn thing usually annoys me, but this time I couldn't have cared less. I stood there staring at the back of a wall of dude heads (the one on the shoulders, okay?) just blindly listening to Bad Religion rock the shit out of the 'shoe. The sound was so fantastic and every now and then I could catch a glimpse of Gregg's charming face as he woo'd the crowd. That was enough for me! I was more disappointed in not being able to see the crowd at the front and how they were reacting to the band. Was there moshing? How nuts were people going? These are the questions I need answered!
My favourite moments were hands down when the whole room was singing along to the classics (and even a couple new ones!) as loudly as possible, almost drowning out Gregg at least from where I was standing. It was heartwarming as fuck, especially during "Los Angeles Is Burning".
The incredible performance wasn't just attributed to the music, but was partly due to the stage banter and the way the band interacted with the audience. They were super personal and talked to the crowd as if we were all just hanging out. They told stories, made jokes (ex: Gregg 'gave us a little 1997' by dancing like Mick Jagger while they had the Stones playing in the background) and even chirped fans demanding to hear songs from The Gray Race before abiding.
Like I said... it was an EPIC show. There's no way I'll forget it.

Funny Story Time!
So there was one area near the sound guy that absolutely reeked of B.O. so badly that I am pretty sure it stuck to me when I moved away from it. It was like being in Jerry's car on Seinfeld after the valet's O left his B and relocated to the C(ar). Anyway, I moved as far as I could so that I could still breathe but also still be out of the way of the bar, which unfortunately didn't get me far enough away that I couldn't notice it at all... and THEN somebody farted and it smelled so putrid that it completely covered up the B.O. and just lingered their, moist in the nostrils of everybody close. I found out something about myself at that moment.... I would rather smell terrible B.O. than a terrible fart. At least a fart from a butt unknown to me. If it were myself or a friend of mine I would probably choose the fart because at least it would add some humour. In this case though, B.O. for the WIN.

I'm Sarah. I smell what I want.