The Review That Almost Never Was!

I was just about to close my MSB inbox and not open it again until after Pouzza. I have an insane amount of interviews to write before the festival and barely any time to do them, so I decided to ignore everything and everything until like, June, at least. But then I saw an email from a band called Crooked Jacks and I immediately pictured Jack Bauer finally turning to the dark side, like along with Vader, and turning on his country and in turn becoming the terrorist he fought so honourably against for so many seasons. That dumb image in my head, and because the dude in the email complimented my writing style, made me decide to talk about this one last album before I go MIA.
Okay, that and because the guy basically described his band in the way that I would probably have described it anyway in the email, therefore doing like 90% of my work for me because we all know that these reviews include ONE line actually talking about the album, and everything else is just dumb shit like the whole Jack Bauer thing above, or food talk, or sex talk.
Anyway, here's what HE said about it:
We are a fucky mix of punk and country punk, best described as the bastard child of Mike Ness and Ben Weasel, with a pinch of Broadways thrown in for good measure.
AND HE'S BANG ON.
So I don't have to do shit, other than agree!
I kid.
I'll at least throw in an obscure reference.
They remind me of that movie Dudes, when Jon Cryer's character and his friend Biscuit have to exchange their punk clothes for country outfits so that they don't stick out as they hunt down the douchebags who killed Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Now compare:
AMIRIGHT!?
Nah, probably not. But whatever. All I'm trying to say here is that I can definitely hear the punk + country blend when I listen to Crooked Jacks, and it sounds about as badass as those DUDES (heh) look. Or are supposed to look, back in the day.
I honestly fucking love it.
This album will probably be on repeat for the rest of the day.
The speed, the vocals, the everything... so good it makes my ears drool. If I were to rate how much I love it on a scale of flaccid to boner I'd say I'm hard enough that you could use my pretend cock as a bat in the Major Leagues to hit balls all over parks everywhurrr.

And I've just been informed that these guys will be playing Pouzza, AND since he used a Trailer Park Boys reference while informing me of this I've decided I will be interviewing the shit out of them there. So stay tuned for that.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.