my emburrassing baked journey through being born gold

This is my journey through Born Gold's I Am An Exit, told as if I'm on Bad Girls Club recounting the incident to the cameramen in those little recap interview things they do, or whatever. 


My first thought was that I was tooooo baked for this. 
My second thought was that I was juuuust baked enough. 
And that's when the xylophone sounding thingy came in. 
(See, I'm too baked to even be sure if it was a xylophone or not!) 
And I felt like I was in Pee Wee's playhouse, but like, before everybody was grossed out by him and it was still fun. 
And then the second song came on and I was shot down this opening at the top left hand corner of a TV screen into a Donkey Kong water level. 
By now I'm thinking I really am too baked for this, because it fuses with clubby pop song lyrics and I could no longer be sure if I was Diddy or Jason Derulo. 
And I'm pretty sure I totally spaced out for the entire song after that. 
And then all of a sudden he was singing about walking on water and swimming and I got really freaked out because I was JUST picturing swimming through that water level from two songs back (see above). 
Then, I got a bit of an anxiety attack because I was so intent on listening to the next song that I forgot to breathe for a bit, and then started worrying that I would forget again and then DIE. 
But then the sixth song got super happy and I kind of snapped out of it and started to dance during the really groovy part. 
I almost quoted My Best Friend's Wedding just there but, I'll save myself some dignity by not. 
AND THEN that same song turned into a Night at the Roxbury jam and we all forgot about how I almost quoted My Best Friend's Wedding. 
All of a sudden the line "everything has a slow decay" flutters out of the speakers and I'm just like, damn, that's deep, I should probably smoke another bowl.
So I did. 
And like holy shit was I ever glad I did because the eighth track breaks down into this like hip hop meets the Cure... 
And then he sang something about never saying a word that doesn't sweat followed by what I think was a child talking, which both lost me and freaked me out. 
Then I regretted smoking that bowl. 
And the next song I just kind of sat through awkwardly, 
AND THEN came number ten, the last number on the album, called "Butcher", which started with actual sounds of flies at a butchers... unless I just imagined that part after seeing the name? 
Not sure. 
But this song was pretty haunting. 
And weird. 
And awesome. 

http://borngold.us/

This is song #2: 


I'm Sarah, I think.