I'm Cuckoo For Caffiends!

I think this band IS me.
Songs about drinking, drinking, smoking weed, and more drinking. There's even a love song about liquor. And the b-e-beer quote from the Simpsons. And a Can't Hardly Wait quote. I could go on but I'm stoned and lazy.
The name, Caffiends, is probably one of my favourite, most fitting band names. At first I didn't really think too closely about it and it just made me want coffee. But just now as I sat down to write this review,  I hit my pipe and found myself lost in the name, probably thinking wayyy too hard about what it meant, when really it's quite simple. I'm still not even sure that I get it, because I'm still baked and thinking way too much about it, but I feel like I am it, and I should be going to some meeting where you stand there and say "Hi, I'm Sarah, I'm a Caffiend".  The funny thing is, instead of drinking coffee right now I'm just listening to them, their 'don't give a fuck because I'm drunk' attitude over their upbeat perfect nasally+raspy pop punk is giving more energy than the real caffeine ever did, and will probably have me drunk by noon. What time is it, 11am, yep definitely going to be drunk by noon.
*opens vodka so she has something to sing "Liquid Girl" to*.
It's impossible not to drink when I hear this band, they make me so happy I just have to party.
(Totally not an alcoholic, okay Mom?)
They sound like every punk band I've ever loved all rolled into one, and I really do find myself fiending for them when their album comes to an end, shaking, drooling, even pissing myself sometimes in the few seconds it takes to press play again.
I don't know what it is, but I'm hooked.
And really baked, so I don't think anything I just said makes any sense.
Fortunately I'll be drunk in less than an hour and will forget that I ever cared about making sense.
Make sense?

And guess what friends, you can stream their entire new album right heea, thanks to Anti-Authority Records.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.