I'm all for alcohol, I'll tell ya. It's the thing.

Move over Prince, your parties are a thing of the past.
Here in 2014 there ain't no party like a Victim Party!
Before you hit play on their new album do yourself a huge ass favour and make sure you have some sort of liquor in front of you. If you don't you will, I-I say, you will regret it.
Guaranteed not even half a song in and you'll be craving it.
(Or maybe some pills, #UnitedStatesofWhateva)

Cousins - The Halls Of Wickwire

Sea salt surf punk is what I'm going to call East coast bands like Cousins from now on, and I think this fabricated sub-genre is quickly becoming my favouritest of all sub-genres.
Cousin's new album The Halls Of Wickwire really puts the 'ocean' in sea salt, or something...
What I mean is, they sing about the ocean and make me want to go to there.

Step Right Up - Brassknuckle Lullabies EP

Step Right Up sound like the type of band who will tell you to do what their name says and then THWACK, they punch you in the face a bunch of times with their abrasive thrashcore punk songs, spitting on you all the while with their drunken slurred vocals. And guess what, getting punched in the face and spit on feels pretty fucking awesome when it's done by Step Right Up. So good that you're going to come back for seconds, thirds, fourths, heck you'll be begging them to treat you like their own personal punching bag.

Another fucking cool Hamilton band. What the fuck Hamilton!

What the fuck is happening in Hamilton? Did somebody spike their water supply with a magic potion that makes the whole city genius songwriters?
They even know how to make boring mainstream pop rock sound good.

Punk rock music is great music played by bad drunk musicians.

Check out Rail 27, a sweet skate/ska/punk bands from Reading who remind me a lot of a cross between Link 80 and Leftover Crack. The high school girl in me is drooling over this band, while the adult me is enjoying the spurts of ska but is glad that there's way more to it than upstrokes, 'cause my ska days are behind me (for the most part).

The Parlour Suite are back in black

The Parlour Suite have gone from the sunshine'y lollipop-like sound to a darker, more ambient and airy night-time romp in the park. Their new album, Vibes, out May 27th, takes their electronic pop to a whole new seductive level. It's like that girl you went to camp with for two summers when you were younger who was always so bubbly and chipper and cute, but when you see her again she's kinda gone a bit goth, has lost her cuteness to maturity, and is dressing way sexier.

Wasted Potential.... or wasted... NINJA.... Potential?

I skipped ahead a bunch in my list of 'to be reviewed' because there was nothing else I wanted to listen to at 11am on Good Friday morning other than Wasted Potential.
Talking about their fucking killer new album doesn't feel like work to me right now, and the last thing I want to do is work on my day off work, which unfortunately I have to but at least let me get a few caesars in me first, naw'meeen?!

Introducing my new favourite EP by Billy Moon

Billy Moon just released a new EP.
I am in love.
Holy Hamilton, I need to come do a feature in you.
So many wicked bands pouring out of that hammer hole.

Nintendo Dance sPunk

When I first read Nintendo and punk in the same sentence describing Kount Rotttula it was like I got a 'level up' in my pants. Talk about two of my favourite things. I could write a version of that Sound Of Music song and just repeat them two things over and over.
It wouldn't be a good version, but that's not the point.

Michael Feuerstack & Associates - Singer Songer

OK guys. This new Michael Feuerstack & Associates album, Singer Songer, is suspenders down the new Laura to my Urkel. I'm not entirely sure if I've done my math correctly, but from what I've calculated here Michael is the 'songer' and each song features a different special guest appearance, making them the ever-changing 'singer'. Feel free to check my answer.

Go Big or go to hell

The other day I wrote about how much I love the combination of punk rock and bluegrass/country/folk. Want to know what's better than that?
Adding a hint of ska, and 'Disney soundtrack' to it.
And I know that to most people that won't actually sound appealing.
(To me, it's a wet dream in the shape of music notes.)

Pet Sun - Serpent Buzz EP

You wouldn't think of it by the name, but Pet Sun are like, the sexiest band around right now.
I mean, pets aren't sexy (unless you're a freak), and I guess the sun is hot.. so there's that.
Pet Sun are sexy tho. Real sexy.
Sound-wise/song-wise I mean. I have no idea what they look like physically.
I'm talking their tunes, maaaaan.
They're fucking sexy.
Sexy triple xxx'y.

The Human Project - UK PUNK!

When The Human Project 's new album, Origins, first kicks in I immediately think 'A Wilhelm Scream' by the sounds of the guitars, and then the singing kicks in and it combines that intensity with a bit of melodic softness, then countered by the pounding of the drums in the back... and it all hits me so fast from every direction like a mosh pit composed of all the punk bands I used to listen to in high school.
I love it. I love it all. All rolled into one.

All aboard the Animal Train!

Animal Train are a punk band in the true sense of the genre. Their songs are sweaty, in your face, actually meaningful, and over faster than you can drop a deuce; none longer than 2 minutes and the 8-track album is over in under 15. My ears are chugging it back like my mouth does whiskey and I'm feeling it so hard that I think I'm love drunk.
Correction: Love wasted.

Scoop Trumbull & The Wrong Notes - Pull The Cork

I'm a small town girl who grew up on country music - thanks to my best friend's dad who straight up used to drive us around in his pick-up truck blasting all sorts of country 'n' bluegrass every weekend...those were the days. -  whose obsession with punk rock began all thanks to the Columbia House Record Club (SO punk rock) after I picked Rancid + Ramones + Offspring albums at random because I thought the albums looked neat. Needless to say I have a super hard boner for bands who mix the two genres together and who do it well

Rioting Reverb “High, I’m Your Neighbour” Review by BennyB

Review written by Benny B of Messes & Miracles
What do you get when you combine gritty punk rock vocals with diverse alternative rock sounds created in Mississauga? You get an alternative punk/rock band from Mississauga called RIOTING REVERB.  Nothing overly technical, just straight up alternative rock sounds with touches of folk music deeply rooted in punk. The only thing I can suggest is a better quality recording and maybe a producer but all in all its definately a good start to something cool, I’ll be keeping my ears open for this group.

Half Goon

Meet Half Goon.
They're sludgy noise/thrash punk from Long Beach. I've been really into this stoner drone stuff lately and these guys really appeal me.
It kinda sucks that they live so far, after listening to them I really want to see them live and rock the fuck out with them in person. This album sounds great, but I feel like live they'd just take it to a whole other level.
Oh well, someday soon I hopes.

Sweet Jets, more like Sweet Jugs, milk jugs that is... so like, Sweet Tits.

At first Sweet Jet's new album sounded like a crazy drug-induced dream with like layers of singing faces forming a kaleidoscope that keeps switching back and forth with a live band in bell-bottoms and grungy hair rocking the fuck out while the dim garage light flashes on and off.
But a few songs in I realized there's soooo much more to it than that.

Banner Pilot, Don't Ever Change.

It's 3am in the morning and I have to wake up at 7am to get ready for work. I just got home from a show and made the mistake of checking my email out of habit, definitely not with the intention to work at this hour.
But, sitting here, begging me to listen to it is the brand-spank-fucking-new Banner Pilot album, Souvenir.
Obviously leaving it for the morning isn't an option.

WTCHS are wicked and will melt YOU.

It's so darn nice out I should be outside enjoying not having to wear my winter fucking coat in the sun, but instead I'm hungover, hunched over in front of my computer, Spider-Man curtains drawn with WTCHS on repeat, just hating the fact that I exist. If I didn't have to go pick up my bike from the bike doctors soon I'd be sleeping so hard right now. But since that's a thing I have to do instead of sleep, I am attempting a review in order to keep my mind off of how badly I want to crawl into a hole and bear out for the winter. Forming words let alone complete, meaningful sentences is such a struggle to me right now though, I'm in such a stupid daze that it feels my brain is actually Rob Ford, drunk and on crack, stumbling around my skull drooling, swearing, sweating. Yuck. Just yuck.