D-Beatstro D-Bruncho.

Guess what guys, South Park has inspired to become an esteemed food critic.
So when I saw Jess (owner) inviting yelpers (not really) to try out the new brunch menu at D-Beatstro and write about it I was like shiiiiiit this is my chance to break into the foodustry.

Ignore, if you will, the whole 'MusicSheBlogged' blog title right now and allow me to introduce my first piece as 'FoodSheAteAndThenBloggedAbout':

D-Beatstro - located at 1292 Bloor Street West - is a new'ish vegan 'bistro' per say, slash live music venue slash art space geared towards the edgier, anti-corporate coffee loving sorts. Like, if you're looking to hear sweet punk rock like The Menzingers (which played during my d-brunch today) and a super chill space where you won't be judged for taking the 'just rolled out of bed' look literally then this is your new 'Central Perk' (that's a Friends reference for those not 'in-the-know').
Oh, and, it's all vegan.
Plus there's gluten free options if you're into that. (I'm going to refrain from quoting that South Park episode right now out of pure unadulterated reshpekt)
As a meat + dairy + gluten lover/needer/obsessor I have to say I'm surprised at just how much I love the food they have at D-Beatstro. From the chocolate chip cookie dough like bar t'ings to the mini mac'n'cheese cake thingys to the pizza roll thingamajiggers... to the FULL BREAKFAST I had today.

It's called the Deluxe Breakfast, and it's new, and it's probably the best thing to happen to Bloordale Vegans since, well, I'm not a vegan so how the fuck would I know what the last best thing to happen to them was. The fake sausage was actually amazing, it was just shy of tasting like meat.. the only thing missing was the natural meat juices that cums in your mouth when you take a bite outta the real deal (obviously.. and I'd rather save a lil animals life than get take another shot in the mouth, been there, done that). The eggs were a zillion times better than I've ever been able to achieve, and I'm very picky when it comes to egg texture. They nailed it tho, I gobble gobbled them down faster than I can type gobble gobbled. And those home fries... wow, just, wow. They were crispy and golden and cooked to perfection.
It also came with a side of toast and fruit - as you can clearly see since there's a picture right there - can't go wrong with that!
I also had one of their special apple & pumpkin juices and I'm pretty sure that singlehandedly cured my hangover. That, and the coffee of course. I'm not much of a coffee snob but I notice the quality in theirs, no milk/sugar needed (but, I mean, I still added some because mmm).
The plate across from me - enjoyed by my good pal Shelby from Hoser Punx -was the pizza grilled cheese (came w/ side of those amazing home fries) and she was kind enough to let me have a bite of it. It's filled with fake cheese, fake pepperoni and pesto, and despite the poser meat & dairy it was something that made my taste buds get up and dance around my mouth, cheering for cheese that wasn't even cheese (tricked ya mother fuckers!). I definitely need to go back and try that one next time.
Here's the rest of the menu for you to drool over:


At this point it's been about 3 hours since I had d-brunch and I still haven't pooped! My tummy isn't turning from the heavy grease and my farts aren't nearly as raunchy as those hungover dairy farts can be.
Overall I'd give that D-Beatstro's D-Bruncho a perfect 10 out of 10.

And these animals insist on giving it 15 out of 15.


They also have a revolving door of other delicious random snacks like poptarts and peanut butter ballz, ohhhh annnnd awesome shows at night and shit.
You should like, follow them on Facebook so that you can keep up.


I do what I want.

PS: WOLFCOP