Splitters, I hardly know hers !

Ok ok that's a terrible title. I know. I get it. For some reason I can't help but think sexually about the word "splitters" and I don't know why so I tried to make a joke of it that nobody but me will understand which is stupid to do on a blog that everybody but me will read (and by everybody I mean nobody, probably). I'm afraid to google anything to do with 'splitter' it in a sexy context to figure out why my train of thought keeps pulling into Pussy station. It's not like my porn of choice is found through searching that keyword or anything, but this filthy mind of mine goes straight to picturing some chick being split in half with a monster dick. I mean... I'm sorry. What kind of review is this! A review that compares the band Splitters to sex with a very large penis. Which, in a way.... is fitting? Maybe.. once I figure out how to bring it back to their debut album, The Last Time I Swear, by saying something like if my head was a vagina then this record is a King Kong size dong that is thrusting it's way into my ears with each song, easily making it's way to the g-spot that is my brain..
There, that kind of worked, right? Honestly even I don't know what I'm talking about at this point. And guess what everyone (no one), I'M FULLY SOBER RIGHT NOW.
Apologies to the band who will never be able to share this link out of fear their mothers will see it.

That's the band walking away from my website while giving me the finger...
I'm sorry guys, I'm so sorry. Let me try this again..
I'd like to start over by saying that I'm smitten with Splitters. The sound of the vocals in particular have my head spinning like a pinwheel in a beautiful breeze made of bliss. (See, that's pleasant, right! Not at all dirty.) With each track this blissful breeze blows in through my ears and down to my heart making it flutter like the wings of a butterfly before circling back up and out my mouth causing my lips to form a smile as it brushes by into oblivion. (How sweet, right!) I'm honestly so obsessed with the entire album and haven't stopped listening to it on repeat for a good 4 hours now... and that's just today. There's something so sincere about their songwriting and each heartfelt track makes me feel what they must have felt when they wrote it. You can feel it for yourself over at Punknews.org where the full album (officially out Nov 18) is streaming for free!

Or listen to a couple songs on bandcamp right here if you're too lazy to click on the link above.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.